Setting the dishes out
Maybe you’re handling the plates, and a little one can help with the forks and knives and spoons.
Very little ones won’t count at all. You might ask, how many plates do we need? One for grandma, 1 for grandpa, 1 for brother, 1 for sister, and so on, pulling out a plate as you say each name. Then, how many forks? Let the little one get out a fork for each person as you name them again. Then, how many knives? The little one can pick out a knife for each name, again.
As they begin to count things, you could first count: How many people for supper? Name and count each one. Let’s say 7, for example. You count out 7 plates. Then ask, how many forks? You may have to count the people again, or maybe count the plates, or maybe the kid will remember. Let the kid count out the forks. Again, how many knives? Let the kid count out the knives.
In any case, while everybody is eating, you’ll get a chance to check that everybody has a fork and knife and plate, and congratulate yourselves on the counting.
Putting the dishes away
Time for sorting. Give a kid all the forks and knives and spoons and ask him to
sort them and put the forks where they belong, the knives and the spoons in their
places. Big spoons and little spoons. Maybe big forks and little forks each have their own place.
An older child can put away mugs and cups. What to do with the handles is an interesting problem, especially if there are lots of mugs and not very much space to put them in. How much space do things take up? How can I fit things into a tight space? Both these are problems that a kid can work on without even knowing that she is doing math.