What if?
by Richard Watson

I have often thought about what I would say if a Jinn (genie) offered to grant me three wishes. Would one of those wishes be the obvious one? "Cure my cerebral palsy". Well, so far it hasn't. My three wishes thus far have been: Give me clearer speech, give me a better memory, and give me a lower household insurance premium! To some, that might sound pretty close to "Cure me", but it really isn't. It's something anybody might ask for.

I have just about everything I want in life, though admittedly my world is small. A long term relationship and a few kids might be nice, but what the hell. I have come to recognize that this missing piece is part of some cosmic lesson I'm supposed to be learning in this lifetime. And then there's that '57 two-door hard top-Pontiac.

I have thought about what my life would be like if science could make me 'able-bodied' tomorrow. I think it would be pretty traumatic! I'm too old to start all over again. And that's what I would have to do. If I were on GAIN for the Handicapped, I would lose it immediately. I'd have to get out and find a job. But I have no experience in the competitive job market.

I would get evicted from my beautiful, big housing unit (with the mega-view of downtown and the mountains) which I helped design to be wheelchair accessible. I would have to get my driver's license and incur the expense of a car, gas, maintenance and insurance. I would actually have to learn the streets of Vancouver, Kamloops and Calgary, and how to get to any one of them. And, oh God, I'd have to tolerate my mother's backseat driving!

I would have to learn new social skills to fit into the 'able-bodied' crowd. I would have to develop a whole new sense of humour. I couldn't make fun of my cerebral palsy anymore, and I'd have to drop the gimp jokes. I would have to become an expert at something else, and find a way to be needed by another group of people.

My two attendants would lose four hours of employment a day, plunging them into financial distress.

Well, see my point? Guess I'll stay where I am. I grew up with cerebral palsy; I know nothing else. There is a certain pride and sense of brotherhood in being a member of the disabled community. It has its own culture, language and politics. Its members share an understanding of each other's predicament. Being cerebral palsied has given me a rare insight into the human conditions and into what visible minorities have to endure and overcome just to be alive. It has made me appreciate all minority groups, women, gay people, people with AIDS, alcoholics, people of different ethnic backgrounds, because I am one of all of them, I can no longer speak out if the world discriminates against me.