Presently, I have nothing left to distract me from the emotional turmoil that has left me voiceless for so long. I refuse to let my feelings go unheard; they are screaming to be released from the bondage of my constricted body. How can I free myself from the emotional shackle that was placed on me so early in life? How does one let that inner self out to "test the waters", to check out the safety of exposing one's feelings?

I feel strongly that for my own physical and mental well being these feelings need to be set free. I went to a therapy group for one and a half years, and the therapist kept telling us to write our feelings down. I could hardly bring myself to write a letter but my desire to get healthy was so strong that I tried writing. Writing only sporadically, mostly when feeling disturbed, I felt inadequate and this added to my hesitation. As I went further into therapy and as my life seemed to fall apart, I realized my need to seriously write about my feelings. There were so many emotions inside of me, fighting to get out.

Finally, I decided to take an evening writing class to increase my writing skills and to see if I had an ability, or if I'd be wasting my time. I soon discovered that a person does not learn how to write, necessarily. It only takes a little courage to be honest and a willingness to put your pen on the paper and let your feelings rush through your arm, down the pen and onto the paper. It also demands a teacher willing to let you write about what you know best: yourself!

Sometimes I get so excited when I write that my mind is way ahead of my pen. I write furiously not wanting to lose my important thoughts.

This is an exciting time in my life. I have gained self esteem and self confidence at a very crucial time. I'm still not a great conversationalist, but through writing I am examining feelings that have been tucked away and kept secret all these years and I feel a new sense of freedom in mind and body as I put it all down on paper, read it out loud and shed these important pieces of myself with the class as they share their writing and feelings with me. At last, my inner self has a voice by which to be heard.

Background Information

When children are not allowed to express feelings or participate in conversations, they do not learn to communicate or to deal with their feelings. Talk about experiences you or someone you know had. What does it feel like to hold emotions inside? How well do you hold a conversation? How do you deal with: anger, stress, sadness?

Questions

1. What does spontaneity mean?

2. How did Linda keep her feelings under control?

3. What happened to Linda as time passed and more feelings went unexpressed?

4. What served as a distraction for Linda?

5. Do you think it's healthy to hold in your feelings? Why?

6. Use constricted in a sentence.

7. Do you think therapy is helpful?

8. What did Linda do to get her emotions out?

9. Do you think writing can be helpful for everyone?