One mother showed insight into the causes of her frustration with helping her kids when she said, “I see that the kids have the same trouble as I do.”

Many said that the improved communication stemmed from an increased ability to remain calm and not get frustrated or angry. “(My son) went from D in math to C+ because I’m able to be more calm. He is an FAS kid.” “I don’t lose my temper with the kids since I started the group.” This improved communication sometimes generalized into a more positive relationship: “We get along more. We can communicate better,” and “I spend more quality time with my kids.”

Although most of the reports of improved parent/child relationships came from parents with children in school, one mother told an interesting story about how she used math to help socialize her two-year-old son, who loved the math activities she did with him. He did not have much language ability and was having problems relating to other kids, and often got into fights with them. She reported, for example, that sharing was a concept he found hard to understand or do, and telling him he had to share often resulted in tears or fights. When she focused on the math component of sharing (“One for you, one for me, one for you…”) he got focused on the counting and it drew his attention away from the fact that he was giving up something. His mother said, “He has a chance to talk about social relationships in math terms, and he [understands] it, so there is less need for hands-on intervention and discipline.”

Messages for parents

When I asked each group to brainstorm a list of important messages that the revised manual should get across to parents, I was happy to see how closely it resembled the list of underlying principles I had started with when I began to plan for the manual and the sessions. They said:

• Kids learn math naturally. As they learn and develop they pick up more concepts.
• Try not to push math, let them learn by experiences.
• Open your eyes to the fact that we are always teaching through our everyday activities.
• Many ideas in the manual can be incorporated into daily activities.
• Try not to get frustrated, especially when you have to repeat things.
• Don’t push your kids when they are upset, confused, or frustrated; leave it until a better time, when they are ready.
• Get out of your own “bubble.” Instead of “This is what we should do,” follow the lead of your kids.
• Sometimes we make things too complicated. Kids see things in much simpler terms.
• We all have that little kid in us that likes to have fun.
• Kids are more receptive if math is fun, not just “teaching.”