4. Train the askers in how to ask

It's important to train every volunteer asker in the right approach.

In Appendix B, I've outlined a training system. Read through it now, but don't actually do the training until you have finished going through this manual. There is additional information you'll need in the training session contained in the pages after this.

Years of experience in training volunteers in this and other techniques has led me to conclude that the best training method is to get people involved before telling them the “right” way to ask.

By inviting people to play the Big Gift Game (Appendix B), you make people more receptive to the answers. This happens for several reasons. They learn the limits of their existing knowledge. They build on their strengths. They discover that asking is not as stilted and complex as they might fear. And they discover the process can even be fun.

For all these reasons, I urge you to invite people to play the Big Gift Game first.

What to Say during a Visit

As the Big Gift Game ends, you should have many valuable insights from the participants. Years of experience in running these games suggests that people will have spontaneously discovered most of the basic principles of what to say and do. It is largely common sense, after all.

The points that follow should make a useful supplement to the self-discovery process. After the game, discuss each of these points with all the people who are being trained as askers.

Listen

Listening to the prospect is just about the most important ingredient to a successful request. What the prospect says and how you respond will carry the day.

Listen rather than talk about half of the time. Use active listening to draw out the prospect's latest and strongest interests in your area.

As you hear the prospect's concerns, shape your words to his or her interests. No matter how well you know the prospect, or how thorough the research, something may have happened at the last minute that changes everything.

Donna Hunter, who was at the time the executive director of the Women's Inter-Church Council, tells of a visit she made. At the time, they had identified several women of substance and faith who they hoped would help launch an endowment fund. One of the women was an old friend of hers, who will remain nameless here.

I hadn't seen her for a long time, but had put her name forward and agreed I would go and see her. We had agreed that we would go in twos, so I went with another friend, a board member, who didn't know her.
My friend met us at the door as graciously as ever. She had prepared coffee and muffins for our visit that morning. She listened patiently as the board member told her our story. Then when the time came, I told her we had come to ask her for $25,000.
She quietly looked at me and said, “Donna, I'm sorry that you didn't know. My husband died two weeks ago. I'm simply not making any commitments at this time.”
Her husband was a lawyer in a major downtown legal firm. But he had died with no insurance.
The next time I met her, she was looking for work. Her financial situation had changed completely, from one of wealth and privilege to one — certainly not of poverty — but of modest income.
How heartsick we both felt. We wrote her a note afterwards acknowledging how we felt intruding on her, and thanking her for hearing us out.
It didn't keep us from going on to visit others. But we were always much more careful to listen to people before we talked.

Others have had similar experiences. Sometimes they were positive: news of a newly born grandchild, of someone graduating, or reaching a milestone. Sometimes it has been unexpected tragedies. Sometimes it has been a change in the way the prospect views the world.

Hear what they have to say before you start talking. Ask questions about them and their interests. If necessary, abandon everything you had prepared, so you can respond appropriately. Always put friendship first.

At the worst, a few moments of such small talk and socializing will be polite before plunging into the matter at hand. At best, it may change everything for the better.

After you have listened, act on what you hear. Do not treat the prospect's comments lightly. Here's a million-dollar lesson:

One lesson I have learned over time is the importance of listening. While I was chief development officer at the University of the Pacific (UOP), the board chairman received a call from an attorney who had a client interested in making a major gift to a college or university by year's end. He was contacting a half-dozen institutions requesting three one-page proposals presenting different projects at the $200,000 to $300,000 level. They were to be submitted within two days. I wrote them and forgot about it.
A month or two later, the chairman handed me a $300,000 cashier's cheque. When I asked where it came from, he replied, “Mrs Anonymous. Remember the three one- page proposals? Well, she picked us.
As I was leaving, he added “By the way, the attorney told me that of the half- dozen or so colleges contacted, UOP was the only one that followed the instruction about one-page proposals. So she only read ours.
Wow! Was I glad we were listening to the prospect's request. By the close of the campaign, Mrs Anonymous had given UOP more than $1 million.

Don't Try to “Sell”

Use no pressure and no guilt. Don't beg. Don't push the prospect to do something he or she doesn't want to do. Instead, offer the prospect an opportunity to fulfill his or her own good intentions.

Emphasize the people whom the prospect's gift will help, not the organization's needs. Look for win/win results, where both parties involved feel they've gained. If the prospect isn't genuinely pleased to contribute, his or her support will be short-lived.

Also, reinforce the prospect's personal relationship with you, as an individual volunteer who asks — the gift may be given because you asked, not because of a deep commitment to the organization's work. Donors may give because they trust you, or care about you — or even because they want to do business with you.

Protect the group's long-term relationship with the prospect — and your own — over any short- term fundraising needs.

Be Enthusiastic

The prospect may decide to give just because your own positive feelings are infectious. “We respond to enthusiasm”, Lyman Henderson says. “I like to see someone who really believes they're hot.”

Give the Prospect Positive Choices to Make

Invite the prospect to tell you what aspects of your work she or he likes best. The following process is known as a decision-making tree:

Offer choices in pairs — never more. It's too complicated to make quick decisions based on three or more options.

Never ask a question that can be answered yes or no. In particular, avoid asking “Will you donate to this?”

Instead, ask questions with two equally good alternatives. Either answer should suit your purposes. This is called a double-positive decision. As an example, let's use a nonprofit that performs musical concerts in public and in schools. The fundraising volunteer, Ruth, meets the prospect, Richard. She hopes he'll give about $2500.

If Richard had given the alternative answer to any of these questions, it would have been just as positive. Every decision was a good one, as far as the musicians and the audience were concerned.

Be Sure to Ask for the Donation

Be prepared to ask for the donation directly. This is the hardest part for many people. Don't be vague, hinting that you hope the prospect will be generous. Don't present a huge shopping list, offering choices at every level.

“My gosh!” Lyman Henderson said. “If you don't ask, you don't get. We have had approaches of somebody going through a whole demonstration of the kind of thing they're doing or building or mounting, and they never ask.”

Jerry Panas recounts an excellent example:

It is probably best that he remain nameless. I think he would prefer it that way. He is the popular minister of one of the nation's largest churches. Recently, at a small gathering of other ministers, he related this story… Our minister friend spoke with some emotion; he had just the day before learned one of the greatest lessons of fundraising. The memory was still vivid.
The wealthiest member of his congregation, a widow, was in the hospital. A long- term illness was, sadly, moving at its slow pace to end her life. The minister made regular calls over a period of nearly three months, at least two times a week and often more than that. “Let's be honest, gentlemen,” said the minister to the group. “I considered it my pastoral duty to visit with that faithful servant, one of the most active women in my congregation. I wasn't unmindful, however, that she was also of immense wealth and that because of her long years with our church, we were certain to be the beneficiary of her large estate. There were no children, no relatives, only her great, abiding love for our church. She often spoke to me, even before her illness, of all she hoped to do for the church.
“I visited her faithfully, week in and week out. I brought her spiritual encour agement, often small gifts like stationery, and held her hand while I prayed with her. It was a ministry of love. She was easily one of the most popular women in the congregation and one of my long-time favourites.
“Finally, after all of that suffering, the end came and she slipped quietly into the night. There would be no more suffering. That was about a month ago. Yesterday, I found out from her attorney — also a member of our congregation — about the disposition of her estate.
“While in the hospital, she had arranged her affairs. She left her entire estate to a… university, her husband's alma mater. I was incredulous and I must say, God help me, more than disappointed. What happened? I asked the attorney. It turned out that the priest who was the president of the university came by the hospital one day for a visit. He asked her! That's all he did. He asked. It occurred to me that in all of the time I had known her and in all my visits, I never asked for a gift. I took that for granted.

Ask the Person to Give a Specific Amount

Strategically, it is important to ask individuals to give a specific amount or to give within a range. This number is chosen on the basis of research on the person's previous gifts, ability, and interests. If in doubt, ask big.

Talk about the “think about” figure. The phrases that follow are not meant as scripts for you to memorize; they are guidelines only. Rephrase them in your own words. You might say:

I hope you might want to sponsor a new van to transport the seniors to the medical centre and other special trips. That would cost in the range of $25,000 to $30,000, depending on a few important options. You might be in a position to give more than that — and of course the seniors would be glad if you could. You might prefer to give less right now. What would you think about a gift of $25,000 to $30,000?

We don't know what you might be capable of contributing and we're sensitive to how many requests you face. I'm asking you to consider a donation in the $250 range.

We are hoping that you will see your way clear to giving $500 to $750 to this campaign. This will demonstrate to others your leadership and commitment.

I had the same decision to make myself and I decided that this organization was that important to me.

Your financial donation of two or three hundred dollars, together with other gifts, will enable us to [describe what you hope to achieve].

If you could give $50 a month for three years, that would mean that every month we could help someone [describe an activity you do].

After You Ask, Be Silent

After you have asked for the donation, keep silent until the prospect speaks. No matter how long it takes, keep waiting quietly and patiently. Let the person think. A fundraiser had this fundamental rule reinforced the hard way:

One helpful tip the experts taught was hardest to learn: Don't talk first after asking for the gift. Alas, I have rushed in with a flurry of words after only a brief moment of silence. In my discomfort, I have even provided a reason why the prospect could not possibly make a gift in the amount suggested.
By breaking the silence I never knew if the request was in the ballpark or if the potential donor had questions or objections that needed to be answered.

Prepare to Ask for a Donation Several Times

You may have to ask for a donation several times before the decision is made. The prospects may ignore the request, if they aren't ready yet. They may come back to you with more questions. They may change the subject. They may tell you they need time to think about it.

Some experts suggest asking as many as seven times. Don't worry about counting. Instead, focus on being sensitive to the situation. Some volunteers push too hard for a decision before the prospects are ready. Others, equally inappropriately, are so nervous that they are eager to leave at the first hint the prospect might say no. Find a comfortable balance in between.

What If the Prospect Says Yes, No, or Maybe?

No matter what the prospect decides, it is vital that you respond correctly. Future gifts, possibly worth far more than you asked for this time, could be riding on your follow-up technique.

If the Prospect Says Yes

The prospect immediately agrees to the gift. Wonderful!

Handling a positive response well can be surprisingly difficult, though.

The Case of The Running Mouth

One nervous volunteer solicitor was so relieved to get a friendly hearing and a nice donation that he contracted a sudden case of verbal diarrhea. “What a relief!” he blurted. “We were afraid you were going to ask about the scandal when…” Too late, our inept solicitor retreated to an embarrassed silence, as the prospect reached to take back the cheque and asked for the details.

Here's what you should do:

First, acknowledge and appreciate her generosity. This may sound obvious, but people often forget to say thank you.

If this is a pledge, fill out a pledge commitment card and ask the prospect to sign it.

If she doesn't have her chequebook, return and pick up a cheque from her. Try to keep matters in your hands. Many a donation falls by the wayside if left with a busy person.

Some fundraisers believe that the only thing to say after the gift has been committed is “Thank you!” Certainly, if you are not sure what else to say, you would be well advised to express gratitude and shut up.

With good planning, much more can be done.

Before meeting with the prospect, consider what additional support the prospect could provide if he or she is enthusiastic. There are many possibilities. You must judge the new donor's mood carefully. If the gift seems to be given grudgingly, retreat with grace. However, if there is enthusiasm, consider suggesting additional involvement right away.

You might be pleasantly surprised at how much more a donor can and will do for you. The late Floyd and Jean Chalmers, who gave away well over $10 million to the arts, are a good example.

[Floyd] Chalmers…used his considerable influence to twist arms in the business community to get them to contribute to the arts, and he felt that these contributions outweighed his own. “The major gift I've made over the years was myself, not my money,” he said. “I've given time and made a nuisance of myself by asking other people for money…”

“Floyd and Jean invested heavily in creativity and creative people with their time, advice and money. They were equally generous with all three”, said a book prepared as part of a tribute to Chalmers on his 90th birthday.

Examples include asking the prospect to:

• Increase the gift by pledging the same amount over several years
• Increase the gift through her or his will, insurance or other planned giving;
• Arrange a matching gift from his/her company
• Provide in-kind gifts of goods or services (Decide in advance: What type? How much?)
• Provide his/her own contact names for other prospects
• Write a letter of introduction to his/her own contacts
• Phone his/her own contacts to set up meetings
• Participate in solicitation meetings with his/her own contacts
• Serve on a fundraising task force

Discuss public recognition of the donor's gifts, especially if he or she is a well-known or influential person, or the gift is unusually large. Some people prefer to give anonymously. This may be modesty, or it may be a desire to protect themselves from receiving many more requests for contributions to other nonprofits.

If the donor seems reluctant but open, explain that it will help your nonprofit group if the donor allows you to thank them publicly. Other donors may be more willing to give if they know someone has already considered the issues, checked the organization, and decided to contribute.

If the donor agrees, ask about the following different types of recognition, and fill out the form at the end of this chapter. Will the donor permit:

• her or his name to be mentioned in your newsletter
• public recognition at an event
• sending a news release to the media
• mentioning her or his donation to other prospects, if they ask
• other forms of recognition

Change this list to reflect recognition options your group can and will do. Don't mention anything you're not planning. It can cause long-term problems to suggest an event, for example, and then fail to hold one.

If the Prospect Gives Much Less than You Expected

It is tempting to accept any amount offered, no matter how small. After all, money is money, and many volunteers don't want to press too hard.

However, this can be a mistake. A token donation can have long-term negative impact on a nonprofit group. It may trap the group in a `low-gift ghetto' from which it is hard to emerge. This can be doubly negative. It affects that particular prospect's future giving level, but it can also influence the gifts of other potential supporters, if a community leader is seen to give only a small amount. Prospects often know about and carefully consider the giving level of their peers in making their own decision.

On the other hand, you can't know all that is going on in a prospect's life. It may well be that wrong assumptions have been made about how much the prospect can afford to give, or how committed s/he is to the cause. If you ask for more, you could wind up with still less, or even nothing at all. Pushing too hard can also damage your group's ability to raise future funds.

So what are you to do?

The fundraising world is full of stories like this one:

A wealthy donor we'll call Dan handed a cheque for $25,000 to an old friend named Irv, who had volunteered to raise funds for a cause they both supported. Irv contemplated the $25,000 cheque. Then, looking his friend Dan in the eye, Irv tore the cheque into little pieces.

“Dan,” he said, “we both know you can afford $250,000.”

Not many people can get away with doing that! However, if you know the prospect well enough, you might want to take that risk.

Caution: This tactic is not recommended for the novice. It depends on your ability to judge people, and your confidence in the original expectations. Some people are skillful negotiators and can effectively increase a low donation. Others, of course, are shy, and perhaps best advised not to proceed.

By the way, Dan wrote Irv the cheque — for a quarter of a million dollars.

Remember, you are not there just to pick up a cheque. Any courier could do that. You are there as a fund-raiser — and the emphasis is on the word `raise'.

Your actual strategy will depend on the circumstances. Let's examine different scenarios.

If the Prospect Gives a Predetermined Amount

One asker we'll call Peter reported that the donor, Mr Bigshaught, had the cheque all made out when he arrived for the meeting. As they sat down, Mr Bigshaught passed the folded cheque across the table before Peter could say a word.

Peter put the donation in his pocket without looking at it, made small talk for a few minutes, and left. Once outside, Peter examined the donation, and was disappointed to find it was much less than hoped for.

Peter could have handled the situation differently. Here's one example. Peter could have handed the cheque back to Mr Bigshaught without looking at the amount. “Mr B,” he should say, “hold on to your donation for the moment. There are some pretty exciting aspects to this campaign that you may not know about. These could affect the level of your gift. I'd like to take five or ten minutes to discuss these with you before you make a decision, if that's okay with you. Do you mind taking the time? I don't want to put any pressure on you — I just think you'll be interested.”

If Mr Bigshaught gives permission, Peter could then make the appeal as originally planned. It might result in a larger cheque. Of course, Mr B could just pass back the same cheque, or even give less! If that happens, you will at least know you tried.

If Mr B says he's too busy to talk right now, try to set another time when he is free, so you can come back for the full discussion.

Of course, if Mr B says he's already made up his mind, there's no point in pushing harder. Accept the donation in good grace. Then plot a cultivation strategy to allow someone influential to go back and appeal for another, larger gift. This repeat visit could happen in as little as six months — even sooner, with the right asker. It might take years to arrange.

If the Prospect Gives a Small Gift

Sally had a different problem. Her prospect, Dr Feelgood, listened to the whole pitch, then promised $100.

Sally was expecting $750! The doctor had given other nonprofits in town much more, and Sally couldn't understand what had gone wrong. Dr Feelgood had seemed so interested in the presentation, and had looked interested to the end.

The brave approach would be for Sally to say, “Dr Feelgood, I had honestly hoped that you would give substantially more. Could you take a moment and explain to me — is there something that I said wrong, that discouraged you from giving? Or is there something else that I'm not aware of?”

Dr Feelgood, at that point, might provide some useful information that could allow Sally to either reopen the discussion immediately or approach him again at a later date.

If she learned that Dr Feelgood would indeed like to support the project more generously, but simply didn't have the funds right then, she could suggest monthly payment plans or post-dated cheques. The doctor might genuinely welcome the opportunity to be generous without being under a financial burden.

In another approach, Sally could have encouraged the doctor to support her group in other ways that would not require cash. They could use volunteer time, for example, arranging introductions to medical colleagues. They could even use an in-kind donation of the doctor's old computer.

If the Prospect Says Maybe

Kim had an apparently positive meeting with the judge. Clearly, there was a great deal of interest. But at the end, instead of saying yes or no, Mrs Judge said, “I need to talk about this with my husband. We always make our decisions together. I'll let you know.”

If you ever find yourself in Kim's shoes, say something like this: “Mrs Judge, I'm glad you're giving this such serious consideration. A big gift is a big decision, and of course, your husband (or, if the case is reversed, “your wife”) should be consulted. Your husband may have a lot of questions. Let's set a date when I can come back and talk to you both together, or if you prefer, to him alone.”

Please note: If you had done your research well, you might have seen this coming and arranged an appointment with the pair of them in the first place.

If the prospect refuses to allow you to meet with his or her spouse (or business partner or colleague), your next step is make sure that they have all of the information they'll need to present the case on your behalf. If there are presentation materials, try to leave them behind. Ask the prospect if he or she can think of any particular questions that his or her partner might raise that you should anticipate.

Finally, don't leave it up to the prospect to get back in touch with you. It's very important to set a date by which the decision will be made.

You might say, “Could we talk about it on [name a date within the next two weeks]? I'll be back in the neighbourhood on that day. Will it be convenient for me to drop in then?”

You could say, “Our team is having a report meeting soon, and I'd love to let them know your decision. The meeting is on [such-and-such a date]. Could I check in with you the day before?

If these strategies fail, simply ask the prospect to name a date that would be most convenient for him or her.

If the Prospect Wants More Information

Jean had a problem — Mr Levesque asked a question that she couldn't answer.

Jean hadn't been very keen on making this fundraising call in the first place. So at the very first hint of a question, Jean promised to research the answer, packed her briefcase and left.

Mr Levesque, who was just asking an idle question, was startled. Jean, however, took the question very seriously and went off to do two weeks of in-depth research, preparing a detailed report for Mr Levesque. The research was so much more fun than fundraising — at least, in Jean's mind.

When they finally got back together after a great many calls and juggling of busy calendars, Mr Levesque was half pleased to receive such a detailed answer to his question but a little concerned that the organization would squander its resources in this manner.

The result? The donation Mr Levesque made was much smaller than expected. Jean was angry that all her research work was valued so little. The nonprofit was disappointed.

Before showing what Jean should have done, let's look at a similar situation.

Another fundraiser we'll call Ricardo tried a completely different approach when he approached a potential donor. The prospect, Professor Parker, asked a few questions. Ricardo wasn't quite sure of the correct answers. He did vaguely remember that somebody had mentioned something about this to him once before, so he gave his best approximation of the answer. In other words, he made up the facts.

Unfortunately for Ricardo and the nonprofit group, Professor Suzanne Parker was a world- renowned expert on this subject. She knew the real answer — she'd just been testing.

No donation at all that day! Or for years to come.

So what should Jean and Ricardo have done?

Never lie, make up answers or obfuscate. If you don't know, say so. Most prospects will appreciate your honesty.

Write the question down and repeat it back to the prospect. They'll appreciate that you're taking it seriously. Say something like, “If I understand correctly, what you want to know is…”

Then ask, “Do you need to have this information immediately, or should we continue our discussion?”

Chances are good that the prospect will respond, “Let's continue.”

If that's the response, continue on and try to get the donation on the spot. You can certainly get back with the answer later, but it's entirely possible that the prospect does not need that information in order to make a decision right away.

The prospect may say, “I really do need to know that. It's a critical point.” You have two options:

• The most impressive is to ask if you can borrow a telephone and call one of your contacts (at home if necessary), ask the question and report the answer back instantly.
• If that isn't possible, note the question. Check again whether you should cut the discussion short at that point, or whether you can continue the conversation, “so I can discover if you might have any other questions I should research at the same time.” If the conversation continues, the prospect may very well decide to donate without an answer. If not, arrange a date to come back with the information.

If the Prospect Says No

When a prospect says no outright, it very tempting to give up. Don't do it.

Before exploring them in detail, let's list your options:

a) Be polite
b) Ask why
c) Be pleasantly persistent
d) Offer a donor-directed gift option
e) Suggest a later gift
f) Offer alternative ways to help
g) Ask for advice

a) Be polite.

If the prospect is hostile, in a hurry, or otherwise indicating that you really must leave right now, then that, of course, is the time to take your leave. Be extremely polite. Thank the person graciously for having taken the time to contact you, and leave the door open for another visit. Remember that the long-term relationship with the prospect is far more important than any single request.

Never, under any circumstances, be rude. Don't tell the prospect off. Don't let them know that you think that they failed to understand the situation fully. Don't suggest that they are politically incorrect.

This point may seem obvious, but many prospects have had unhappy solicitors literally swear at them.

b) Ask why.

The ideal is to continue the discussion with the prospect. Ask for more information. Is there something about the project that the prospect doesn't like? If so, additional information might win them over.

Of course, if they actually disagree with what you're doing, additional information will seldom make a difference.

Invite them to discuss it further if they wish. Be careful not to push too hard. People have a legitimate right to say no. In fact, everyone must say no far more often than they say yes.

Sometimes the reasons are private. Sometimes the prospect doesn't even know what the reasons are.

Nancy Jackman is quite clear about the difficulty she has with people who want to ask why, particularly when it is done in a belligerent way:

If I don't give… don't ask me why. I feel guilty. I feel harassed, and I don't want to have tears in my eyes because I have to say no to you. I say no to thousands of charities every year.
I know that there are going to be many groups that are going to go under, I reckon in the next ten years. The smaller donations I have been making, at around a thousand dollars, I have decided to cut… I'm getting out of the business of small annual gifts.

c) Be pleasantly persistent.

Some donors never say yes the first time they're asked. They like to test the commitment of the volunteer.

Here is a true story from the life of Joe Tanenbaum, one of Canada's most generous donors. JT, as he is known to his many friends, made a fortune with his bridge-building company, Runnymede Steel, and later in property development.

JT has an array of… carefully calculated strategies for helping the deserving. One of the most common, but least understood, Tanenbaum tactics for tzedakah (Yiddish for an act of giving to charity; literally, `doing justice') is the hard bargain he drives with institutions seeking his support. Solicitors for the finest causes are often shocked at their initial meeting with JT: “Is this the famous philanthropist renowned for enthusiastically parting with millions?”

One fund solicitor naively presumed himself to be a perfect partner for a shidduch (marriage) with JT. “After all,” he thought, “Tanenbaum wants to give and the deserving institution that I represent wants to receive. What could be more logical? In fact, I'm doing the elderly gentleman a favour!”

The hard bargaining and barrage of tough questions he was subjected to were not exactly the meshulach's (fundraiser; literally, an emissary) idea of gratitude.

As the crestfallen young man emerged from JT's inner sanctum in the Runnymede building, the first thing he saw was the smiling face of Joe's secretary, the unflappable Terry Ryan. Blinking back the tears, he let out a sigh as long as the boom on Joe's favourite crane.

Terry tried to commiserate. “You look a little pale. Would you care for a cup of coffee?”

Unable to concentrate on the question, the fellow blurted out, “If he doesn't want to give any of his money away, what does he have a foundation for?”

“Did he tell you he wasn't going to give you any money?” she asked, astonished.

“No, he didn't come out and say he wouldn't give me any money. He didn't have to say it. I couldn't answer half of his questions, and he made me feel like an absolute fool.”

“No, you poor boy. You just don't understand. JT — I mean, Mr Tanenbaum — treats all the meshulachim that way; the first time, that is. Did you think raising money would be easy? You'll never meet an old softy like JT again, and Mr Tanenbaum knows that. That's why he puts all the people who come to ask for money through their paces. He wants to see if you know your stuff, if you're committed, if you really care about what you represent, if you've got enough chutzpah (bravery, nerve, guts, gall, spunk).”

“So what do I do now?” he moaned.

“You'll have to come back again.”

“Oh no! I could never do that!”

“Sure you can. And you have to, because if you can't get a contribution from JT, you can't get a contribution from anyone. Let's see, I have an opening in Mr Tanenbaum's schedule next Tuesday at eight o'clock in the morning. You'll be his first appointment of the day. It always makes a good impression on him when someone is willing to get up as early as he does. Go home now, and do your homework. Try to remember all the questions he asked you, and be prepared to answer every one and more. You'll see — he's really a teddy bear with a big, soft heart. If you prove to him you're really committed, you'll get a big contribution. I know you will.”

And he did.

d) Offer a donor-directed gift option.

Sometimes prospects will refuse to give because they don't like one particular aspect of your work. They may consider it too controversial. They may think the money is wasted.

Offer them the option of directing their donation to a different part of your group's work.

First, validate the prospect's right to feel that way. Ask: “Would you like me to tell the board about your view? It's important that they know how supporters like you feel.”

Don't promise they will change the policy — just that you will convey the prospect's ideas. Pause for an answer. Discuss this course of action seriously.

Next, ask for the prospect's validation about part of your group's work. Ask: “Would you agree that other parts of our work are worthwhile? For example, we also… [briefly give examples of exciting projects].”

Even in a small organization, there is usually some other aspect of your work you can emphasize. It may be work with children or seniors, men or women, information instead of action. Again, pause for an answer. If the prospect thinks your entire project is inappropriate, you won't get a donation. However, if the prospect considers some part of your work acceptable, you can move on.

Ask for more information. Let the prospects talk themselves into positive feelings. Ask: “Which aspects of the work do you support most? Why is that?”

Now you can begin to ask for a directed donation. “Would you be willing to give exclusively to the part you like? I'll make it clear that not one cent of your donation is to be spent on other areas.”

This donor-directed option must be cleared in advance with the organization. Will the board accept `ear-marked' gifts? Will this be used as part of the regular funding for that project, or will it be additional funding? The prospect may ask — and the solicitor must be clear on the policy.

e) Suggest a later gift.

Do the prospects want to help, but feel limited by their current financial situation? That's good news. That's not “no” — that's “later”. You should immediately discuss options such as smaller monthly payments, postdated cheques, or a return visit at a future date determined by the prospect.

f) Offer alternative ways to help.

The prospect may say, “I'd genuinely like to help. There are just so many good causes and I can't help them all.”

Here's what you should do. First, agree with the prospect there are great many good causes. Note that you, too, feel frustrated by that dilemma. Suggest to the prospect that she or she may have ways of helping that won't put any strain on their pocketbook. Examples include in-kind donations, asking for a donation from the company where she works, or taking advantage of a matching grant program.

g) Ask for advice.

If all else fails, ask the prospect for advice. Say, “I like to see something positive in every situation, even when somebody's said no to me. That can be a learning situation for me, so would you just take a moment and tell me how I might have improved my presentation to you?” The prospect may well respond positively and give you useful insight. In several cases, prospects have even talked themselves into a donation.