Why play a game?

Each and every person who asks a prospect for a gift should play this game before they begin.

The idea is to have one person practice asking for a donation with another who is pretending to be a prospect. The asker has an opportunity to experiment with approaches and get direct feedback on words, body language and procedures.

For people who have never asked for a big gift before, this is an opportunity to shape their words and test phrases. They can check a real person's reactions without endangering the relationship with an actual prospect. It is an inoculation to prevent “hoof-in-mouth disease”.

Note: This game involves role-playing which is always done in small groups, not in front of everyone. It is a private process, not a theatrical performance.

Having people watch is too embarrassing and intimidating for many people. Nor does watching a performance provide as much education as participating. At best, people can see what someone else is doing wrong. At worst they will try to memorize the good parts of what they see as if it were a script. Even if that were possible, there is no one right way to approach a prospective donor.

Each asker must develop his or her own unique style — and that requires practice. A new orchestra can't perform without rehearsing, no matter how experienced the musicians. Athletes, even Olympic medal winners and professionals, require a practice session before playing as a team. Volunteers who will ask for money deserve the same consideration — especially since the reputation of your organization depends on the words they use.

People who are experienced should take part in the training, too. They will have an opportunity to further refine what they will say. If they've solicited donations for another nonprofit, they can learn about the unique aspects of yours and polish their approach. They can also share their wisdom with those who are new: ask them to play the role of the prospect and give responses based on real-life experience.

You may encounter busy people who are unwilling to make time to come to the training session because they feel they already know what they're doing. Often they will attend if you point out how valuable they can be as co-trainers. This is not just idle flattery — it's true. In the process, they may also learn (or relearn) important skills for their own approaches.

It is even more important to role-play in preparation for your most important prospects — the ones who you hope will make truly significant donations. This practice session can make the difference between a mediocre response and one that is spectacular. Have someone who knows the prospect play him or her. Have the team that will actually make the appeal practice their prepared approach. You may even wish to have one or more observers add their critique.

How to Play the Big Gift Game

1. Divide the group into Askers and Prospects. If there are some people who hate role-playing and refuse to take one of these roles, ask them to be Observers. Play the game in small groups. Each group usually includes only the Asker (or a pair of Askers), the Prospect (or two Prospects, if a couple is portrayed), and an optional Observer.

2. Choose characters for the Prospects to portray, based on your real-life donors. If that is not possible, there are models offered here.

3. Give each Asker, Prospect and Observer an instruction sheet (see following).

a) Then allow them 5 minutes to prepare. Although this is much less than usually required, it is sufficient for training.

b) Make sure the Askers write down the amount they will ask for. Have the Prospects write down how much they think they would give before being asked. You'll need this for scoring — and it is good practice.

4. You may wish to begin with a mock phone call to set up the appointment, if your group requires practice on this. Otherwise start at the beginning of the meeting to ask the prospect for a gift.

5. Allow about 20 minutes to role-play the appeal meeting. If your training time is limited, shorten this to 10 minutes. However, make sure everyone knows that a real approach might take 20 to 30 minutes.

6. After the role-playing, have the Prospects complete their score-cards (see following also). Then give the Askers, Prospects and any Observers two or three minutes to share their reactions privately.

7. Then reconvene the plenary session. Ask people to share their scores and their comments with the whole group.

a) Begin by having the Askers share what felt good to say or do.

b) Then allow the Prospects and Observers to note whether they think these overtures were actually good, and to add any other positive feedback. Discuss these as a group.

c) Then encourage Askers to share problems they encountered, phrases they learned not to use, or approaches that didn't work.

d) Ask the Prospects and Observers to comment on what didn't work and how to resolve it.

e) Finally, bring up any issues that did not emerge during the discussion.

THE BIG GIFT GAME

Instructions to ASKERS

Before you start:

Take five minutes to plan your approach. (You'll need more time in real life, of course.)

• Write down how much you will ask for. (This is important in any appeal. In today's game you'll also need it for scoring.)
• Think of several reasons why this person might want to write a large cheque to help the people you help. This might include personal experience, benefits you can offer, recognition, your influence as a contact, etc.
• Consider any questions, concerns or objections the Prospect might have and how you could respond.
• Jot down any particular points you want to make, phrases to use, or controversial issues to avoid.
• Plan the pacing of your conversation: what you will say first, how you can draw out the Prospect's opinions, how you will close.
• Reflect on any other factors that could help influence the Prospect to give generously and happily, such as body language, other people involved in the approach, documentation to share, presentation materials, and so on.

While you are asking:

Note the Prospect's responses — the words he or she uses, what body language reveals. To get the most educational value out of the role-playing, you may want to stop the action for a moment from time to time to make notes. Be prepared to share your observations afterwards about what seemed good to say or do, and what seemed negative.

After the role-play:

Share your observations. Start with a private chat with your partner. Find out whether your partner agrees with you about what worked and didn't. Encourage your partner to give you an honest and complete critique. Discuss these points:

• How much did the Prospect plan to give before being asked?
• Was this more or less than the actual donation?
• What did you think was good enough to be repeated in a real-life situation?
• What would you avoid saying in future?
• Does the Prospect agree with your observations — or did she or he react in a manner opposite to what you thought?
• What tips would your role-playing partner give you? (This includes private advice that might not be appropriate to share with the whole group.)

Then move to sharing comments with the whole group. This may bring up important points that others did not consider — or uncover disagreements that deserve debate.

THE BIG GIFT GAME

Instructions to PROSPECTS

Before you start:

Take five minutes to prepare.

• Write down how much you think your Prospect character might be willing to donate before the face-to-face request. (This is important — you'll need it for scoring.)
• Think of questions, concerns and objections your character might have, or reasons why “you” might decide not to give.
• Consider typical responses for your character — attitude, style, phrases, body language.

While you are being asked:

Note the Asker's approach and your responses. How do you react to the words used, the body language, the pacing, and other factors? Prepare to share these reactions at the end.

To get maximum educational value out of the role-playing, you may wish to stop the action for a moment from time to time to make notes.

At the end of the role-play:

Decide how much your character will give the organization based on this appeal. It may be zero — or less than zero, if you decide the approach was so offensive you would cancel previous commitments. It could be hundreds or even thousands of dollars, based on what you know about the character and the excitement of the approach. (You may even be inspired to make an actual donation with your own money!) Write down the amount you decide on.

After the role-play:

Share your observations. Start with a private chat with your partner.

• How much did you plan to give before being asked?
• How much did you actually give?
• What did you react well to?
• What turned you off?
• How did your reactions compare to what the Asker thought went well or badly?
• Are there confidential suggestions you need to make, regarding problems with grooming, hygiene or behaviour? If so, make them now. Remember, this person is about to become an ambassador representing your organization to some very important people.

Then move to sharing comments with the whole group. This may bring up important points that others did not consider — or uncover disagreements that deserve debate.

THE BIG GIFT GAME

Instructions to OBSERVERS

Before the appeal:

Take five minutes to plan your approach to this observation exercise. Consider what you will watch for, such as nuances of language, reactions, body language, things that are not said, and so on.

During the appeal:

Make notes on the Asker's approach and the Prospect's responses: what words they use, what their body language reveals. Be prepared to share your observations afterwards about what seemed good to say or do, and what seemed negative.

After the appeal:

Share your observations with the Prospect and Asker while they share their thoughts with each other.

You may wish to have a private interview with the Prospect (without the Asker present) to uncover any additional reactions.

You may also wish to have a private word with the Asker without the Prospect hearing. If there are confidential suggestions you need to make to the Asker, do it now — such as problems with grooming, hygiene or behaviour. Remember, this person is about to become an ambassador representing your organization to some very important people.

Then move to sharing comments with the whole group; this may bring up important points that others did not consider — or uncover disagreements that deserve debate.

To be completed by the Prospect.

Step #1. Points for getting a donation
Give the Asker 1 point for every dollar given.________

Step #2. Compare the amount the Asker got to what he or she asked for:
___Less than the amount asked for. Deduct 1 point for every dollar under target. ________
___Exactly the amount asked for Add 1 point for every dollar.________
___More than the amount asked for. Add 1 point for every dollar over the target. ________

Step #3. Compare the amount the Asker obtained to what the Prospect was planning to give before being asked (call this the Hidden Gift Potential or HGP):
___Less than I planned to give before being asked. Deduct 1 point for every dollar under the HGP. ________
___Exactly what I planned to give before being asked. Add 1 point for every dollar. ________
___More than I planned to give before being asked. Add 1 point for every dollar over the HGP. ________

Step #4. Give the Asker up to 100additional points for presentation style, based on good approach, clever ideas, good answers to questions, etc.________

Total Points:________

Discuss the score with the Asker.

Characters to Use in Your Role Play

Before you start: Decide together on just one character to try. Take no more than two minutes to choose!

If possible, role-play a real prospect whom you plan to ask. Use the prospect profile sheets in this book to give the details. If that is not possible, you may not be ready for role-playing yet. However, if you are really pushed for time, you can make up descriptions like the ones that follow on slips of paper and give these to participants.

If that isn't possible, use one of the following fictional characters. Choose the ones most like your real prospects.

If you are using these fictional characters, facilitators may want to speed up the process of choosing who to role-play. Instead of showing people the whole cast of characters that follows, assign roles to specific people. Alternatively, you can photocopy this list, cut the character cards apart, and let people draw a role out of a hat.

Here are fictional characters for major prospects:

Mary Widow In her sixties; her husband died recently, leaving her well-off. Her kids are professionals. She's volunteered for various nonprofits over the years. She's re-examining her life and may go back to university.

Joe College In his late twenties, Joe comes from a well-to-do-but-not-rich family. Mom and Dad are both doctors. He has displayed real interest in your cause.

Mr. Seymour Bigshaught Owner of the successful company he founded; proud of the way he overcame his poverty-stricken youth. Mr. B. is married, and has grown kids. He hasn't given to your organization before, but you often read in the newspaper about his support for high-profile causes. The local hotel and beer hall, The Queen's Arms, is his place. Lately he's fixed up the rooms and gets a fair crowd during the tourist season. Also owns the truck-stop diner by the highway. He's probably a millionaire. He's president of the local Chamber of Commerce. Lots of folks can't stand him — or the cigars he smokes.

Loyolla Donner A supporter of your group for years. Usually gives $125 once or twice a year. Last year, she didn't give at all, and this year gave only $50. No one knows why.

Mr. and Mrs. Mumanpop Parents of a participant. They care deeply about what you do for their only child. Mr. M. has a middle-management job at IBM. Mrs. M. used to be a nurse, and now works part-time in a day care centre.

Dr. Jean Lariviere Child psychiatrist. Sings in the choir, never slows down — always on a committee, giving a paper, going to the theatre, travelling, or entertaining twenty for dinner.

Yuri Crank, PhD. A member of your board. He has never given financially but “gives his time.” He's a tenured university professor. You think he's capable of a gift of $500 or more.

Laura Upancomer Fast-rising executive in the marketing department of a major consumer-product manufacturer. She volunteered to help you publicize your last 10 K Run, but hasn't given money. She's a member of an elite women's club.

Molly Chung and Chu Wei Chung Moved to town recently and bought the Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. Their kids go to the local school, where they work hard and get good marks. Although you buy chicken from them every couple of weeks, you've never really talked to them. Nobody you know knows much about them.

R. Max LePage Star real-estate broker in town. Sells more houses than anyone else — sold yours. Drives a flashy car with a car phone. Works long hours. Type A personality.

Joe Hill and Roseanne Bread He's a union leader, and gives token donations to almost everything. She also gives small amounts of money and is an active volunteer, well-respected for her shrewd insights. He may have political ambitions; nobody knows for sure. His union is a major supporter. We want them to set a personal example in this new area of individual giving.

Chip Silicon He's a businessman, and apparently sympathetic to your group, because he's given before. Little is known about him. His company is large, and not unionized. Most of his money is tied up in the business and his mortgage.

Kim Headstrong All you know is that Kim gives you $300 or more pretty regularly.

The Rev. Barbara Philpott Inherited big money from supercapitalist Dad, but turned to socialism early. Strong views on many subjects. A little too outspoken for the church to give her a regular posting. Suspicious of people who befriend her just to get at the bucks. Gives irregularly.

Ralph and Alice Kramden Ralph is a bus driver (and staunch union member). Alice is a housewife and the smarter of the two. No kids. Although their income is not high, they are not poor. They have been active supporters of your cause for 10 years.

Ms. Sue Emall A well-known progressive lawyer. She and her partners could give generously, but seldom actually contribute more than $150. She has been a leader in many causes. One of her partners is a city council member. Last year Sue made up your will for you, in which you personally left 10% of your worldly wealth (such as it is) to your nonprofit group. (There'll be an explosion if she catches the chair of your board telling another one of his “cute” stories to “the ladies”.)

Ken Adian Owner-manager of the local Canadian Tire. Gave $200 to your group. Also supports minor hockey, Heart and Stroke, Salvation Army, his own religious group, and numerous other causes — everybody is after him. He also volunteers at the Lion's Bingo and puts on a clown suit and make-up for Canada Day picnics. Has a daughter with a learning disability who lives away, and two older children in high school. His wife Karen is a teacher, and you and she grew up next door to each other. Any time you ask about a donation, she says “I leave all that to Ken.”

Hugh G. Ego An intellectual who has held important posts in major institutions. Cares deeply about your cause. His past gifts have been about one-third of what you'd like to see him give; but if he joins the President's Circle, it will be influential for others who look up to him.

Meg A. Bucks One of the elite super-rich. She made a fortune with her franchised chain of stores, where campaigns for various causes are often given a high profile. She's in her late 30s, very fit and unmarried. To your amazement, the husband of one of your board members can get you in to see her. She may even be sympathetic. Could give a mega-gift!

Mrs. Daddy Warbucks Aging widow of a wealthy industrialist. Has views of her own — including support for your group. Bought a ticket and attended a special event you ran, but has had no other contact.

Old McDonald She has a farm. Chickens here and there, cows everywhere. In her 60s, and can't keep up with the workload much longer. Has two kids who moved to the city and don't want to take over the farm. Very religious. Active in conservative politics.

Pete Marwalk-Deltush, CA A self-employed accountant. Treasurer of your board. A real bean- counter — always wants to know the numbers.

Polly Scribe Author and media celebrity: magazines, TV, radio. Cultivates air of genial eccentricity. Passionate about whatever cause she wrote her latest best-seller on. Shows up on your mailing list with donations of $25 and $50.

“Doc” Johansen Pharmacist in your town for 35 years. Knows everybody — and all their secret pains. Her store is part of the Shoppers Drug Mart chain, but she owns it independently. She sponsors a Little League team. She's over 60.

Joe Jaworsky Owns Joe's Esso. Smokes like a chimney. You buy gas from him frequently — and you know that Frank T. Rucker fuels up his whole truck fleet at Joe's. Joe raises money for the Easter Seals with Esso's Thankful Tankful campaign each year.

Mary Williams Has a gift shop full of trinkets and collectibles. Does most of her business at Christmas. Her shop is festooned with plaques and letters of appreciation from every charity in town! The list says she contributes $25 to the mail campaign every year. Her daughter goes to school with your children.

Jimmy “The Greek” Fundopolis Owns Jimmy's Restaurant, a friendly family spot where everybody goes for coffee and lunches. Jimmy also runs the volunteer fire department. He has quietly bought up a number of small buildings around town. Not rich; lives simply, but is saving up to retire to a Greek island someday.

Kay Anne Gallagher Proprietor of Kay Anne's Coiffures, the local beauty shop. Does your (or your spouse's) hair. Friendly, outgoing, a bit of a gossip. Husband is long gone, but she gets by. Has a window full of stuffed animals.

Edith and Roger Tileman Their factory makes tiles; they've built it up themselves over 20 years. It now employs 120 people — one of the larger employers in town. All the dust in the air worries the employees and some get too sick to work, from time to time, but Tileman says they can't afford to install better ventilation. Roger's not a bad guy; belongs to Kiwanis, plays golf. He used to be friends with your father. Edith does the books for the company; plays bridge; is past president of a large religious women's group.

Winsome James Moved here from the Caribbean 10years ago. Runs her own accounting company, which is prospering. Despite her name — or perhaps because of it — she is one tough businessperson. Knows a lot about other people's finances. Recently renovated her house. Very religious, and belongs to a tithing church.

Penny Fountain Penny is always spending on things non-essential. “Why save it for a rainy day,” she says. “I might not live that long. She reacts spontaneously -- if she likes their looks, she'll give money to people on the street or to door-to-door canvassers (which is how she contributed to your group). However, she doesn't always answer her mail, and she can't get organized. She works for the government lottery corporation giving out prizes. She thinks your group has a “really neat” poster. Her boyfriend's sister works for your organization.

Phyllis Stein Great patron of the arts, in her own mind. Her husband made a fortune in property development. She was a lawyer, but now devotes herself full-time to her projects. She has a membership in your [theatre? gallery? concert series?] and never misses an opening night. Her largest gifts include $100,000 to a performing arts group, $25,000 to her university, and $10,000 to the hospital.

Glossary of Terms

active listening The process of making a conscious effort to hear clearly what a person is saying. It requires the listener to silence the `little voices' in his or her head that prepare answers to the speaker's comments, or distract attention with stray thoughts. It may require asking open-ended questions (that is, questions that can't be answered yes or no) to draw out a person's opinions. Show that you do hear by paraphrasing the speaker's words and asking if you understood correctly.

BRE business reply envelope, an envelope which the donor can mail without putting on a postage stamp. Postage is paid by the recipient organization, which has the envelope printed with a special permit number. Permits are available from Canada Post. The recipient pays first-class postage plus a small service charge for every envelope returned (except if the donor puts a stamp on it). There is no payment to Canada Post for envelopes not used; of course, you do pay the cost of printing the envelopes. These envelopes make it very easy for people to send donations.

costs, direct Obvious project-related expenditures, usually accounted for by cheques, cash payments, credit card slips, or invoices.

costs, hidden overhead Expenditures usually thought of as core costs and too often separated from project costs in a category called `administration' or `overhead'. Examples include rent or mortgage payments, utilities, office equipment, office supplies, telephone, maintenance and repairs, board travel costs, and so on.

costs, implementation Expenditures that are essential but often forgotten in planning a budget. For a transportation program, this might include additional insurance for a vehicle, gas and oil, or maintenance; for a brochure, costs other than printing, such as editing, layout, proofs, typesetting, envelopes for mailing it, postage, reply mail costs, and so on.

costs, indirect Expenditures often overlooked in budgeting a project, such as a portion of staff time (particularly for staff not focused primarily on the project, such as a receptionist, support staff, managers of volunteers, finance, and supervisors).

costs, unit The cost of providing a service to one participant on a particular occasion. It is small enough to enable a prospective donor to understand how the amount of money they can give will have an impact, rather than being a drop in the ocean. You can calculate unit costs by adding hidden overhead, implementation and indirect costs, then dividing by the number of participants. Divide again by the number of times each participant uses the service. Divide again by the duration of each use (measured in time or kilometres, for example).

cultivation The process of nurturing the relationship between an organization and a supporter, by providing information about what the group does, and by showing interest in the supporter's life.

donor-directed gift A donation made to a specific portion of a non-profit organization's work, and not to be used for other purposes.

earmarked gift See donor-directed gift.

electronic funds transfer (eft): See pre-authorized chequing.

every-member canvass or every-member visit A stewardship approach used by many churches, in which every member of the congregation is visited at home for a personal discussion, ideally with two other members.

giving clubs Designations (with names such as Benefactor, Sustainer, President's Club, Chancellor's Circle, and so on) used to encourage donors to upgrade gifts to a specific size. They may or may not convey any benefits or incentives to give.

in kind Property, goods, services or valuables exchanged or given instead of money. A cattle rancher who pays his accountant in sirloin steaks is giving payment in kind. This manual discusses in-kind gifts.

non-profits Non-profit or not-for-profit groups are organizations established to provide a social service or benefit to clients or the public. They differ from businesses in two respects: they are not owned by anyone; and individuals associated with them are not permitted to divide up any share of the money they raise — it must all be ploughed back into furthering the organization's objectives. (This latter category can cover a reasonable salary or honorarium for actual work performed.)

Non-profits may also be registered charities, entitled to issue tax credit receipts, but subject to special Revenue Canada regulations.

participants People who use your group's services. You may call them alumni, audience, clients, customers, drop-ins, fans, learners, members, parents, performers, players, recipients, spectators, street-people, students, subscribers, telephone callers, viewers, and so on. For brevity's sake, I refer to them all as `participants'.

planned giving Donations through wills, bequests, life insurance, annuities, and unusual gifts of property. They have tax advantages for donors, and may make it possible for people to give far more that they can when limited by cash on hand.

pre-authorized chequing (pac), pre-authorized payment (pap), or electronic funds transfer (eft) A system in which money is automatically withdrawn from a donor's account and deposited in yours without the donor having to write out each cheque. This makes monthly payments much easier.

prospect A potential donor who has not yet given, or has given smaller amounts but hasn't yet given a big gift.

recognition An expression of the gratitude of the organization for a big gift, such as a plaque, a photo, a dinner in the donor's honour, naming a building after the donor, listing the donor's name in the annual report, and so on.

solicitor The person who asks for a donation. (Not to be confused in this context with `lawyer'.)

suspect Someone who may become a prospect once research reveals their potential interest in your work or their ability to give a big gift.

tied aid A donation `with strings attached'. For example, a donor may contribute the funds to purchase goods on the condition that they be obtained from his or her company.

upgrading The process of asking a donor to give more.