Some people find it hard to spell
While others do it very well.
The latter can be very quick
To criticise; they get a kick
From knowing how to spell a word
Of which most people haven't heard.
They like to think this proves they're clever,
Although they practically never
Stop to think if this is true
Or not.
I recommend that you
And I should give some thought
To what it means to spell; we ought
To look at history - this will tell
That William Shakespeare couldn't spell
For peanuts, and his royal queen
(H.R.H. Liz one, I mean)
Was twice as bad. One can tell at a
Glance, though, that it didn't matter!
Dr Johnson hadn't yet
Thrown his stiff, pedantic net
Over the language; he had not
Invented standard spelling - what
You wrote was what you thought looked best;
You simply wrote and left the rest.
You left the reading to the reader
Who, at this time, didn't need a
Massive dictionary. (Which was
As well, you understand, because
There wasn't one as yet.) You see
A writer, way back then, was free
To spell exactly how he liked.
His writing had not yet been spiked
By the debilitating fear
That folk might giggle, sniff or sneer
At what he'd written - for no better
Reason than they thought his letter
Patterns were a little odd
Compared to those laid down by God
(Or was it Dr Johnson) for
A standard spelling, evermore.
A ‘spellist” age we live in now,
Where you are often judged by how
You spell liaise or guarantee,
People or Arachnidae.