As one participant (BC12) said:

“I was told I had a learning disability a lot … meaningless. Meant they didn’t look deeper – considered that I had nothing to achieve so why bother to ensure that I learnt?”

Several participants (ON7, SK2, and SK3) have been tested in more recent years and understanding more about learning disabilities has assisted them to better understand the difficulties they experienced in school.

Barriers to Learning

· The Emotional Response to Literacy Difficulties

The experience of having literacy problems was clearly associated by a majority of the participants with a wide range of emotional responses related to an undermined sense of self worth and self-esteem, anger, frustration, inability to contribute fully to society, lack of motivation, embarrassment and fear of censure. Seventeen participants used words connoting intense and sustained emotion related to their perceived lack of literacy competence. These interviews also showed that these participants had also reflected on their literacy problems and their impact on their lives and were generally more articulate and comfortable discussing more personal issues related to the topic. The following examples of participants’ words illustrate the depth of emotion and impact on their quality of life:

“ It’s such a struggle … frustrated … overwhelmed, I cry a lot … get self-doubt … it all takes so long … I’m stuck, never gonna get out of this situation … degrading … I developed a hostile attitude … I get mad … such a struggle … feel stupid … panicked … afraid to ask for help … don’t want people to know … I’m so shy … stumbling along by myself.”

The participants, in making these comments, were sharing the feelings related specifically to their literacy problems. These feeling are additional to the emotional energy required of individuals managing a disability in society. Literacy is seen as a “ normal” taken-for-granted activity; a way of maintaining a connection with the ablebodied community which is however, denied them. These emotional responses reflect an underlying theme of judging oneself as “inferior” or “incompetent” and internalizing a depreciated view of one’s own potential. Such emotions are barriers to learning and need to be acknowledged and accommodated for by those who plan and implement adult literacy programs for people with disability.

· Attitudes and Expectations of Others

Twelve participants (46%) poignantly identified how the attitudes and expectations (and on occasion the misplaced best intentions) of teachers and family members (primarily mothers and foster mothers) influenced their ability to access support, information, and technology. The expectations and priorities of others, particularly in the participants’ formative years, were perceived as negatively influencing their performance and ability to learn the basics of reading and writing. Inherent in these comments was the impact and influence of their disability. Having a disability appeared to be associated by others with a low expectation or value of the individual as a contributing member of society, and the disability influenced decisions made by important others at an early stage in the participants’ lives.