For Emily a ‘show girl’s’ vulgar slang was scarcely worse than ‘the attempted elegance of which those unused to good society imagined to be evidence of cultivation’.³⁷ It seems that Emily was a champion of plain English long before the term was conceived.

‘Tintinnabulary summons’ means bell, and ‘Bovine continuation’ meaning the cow’s tail are more amusing than offensive, but they illustrate the theory of bad style that is pretentious.³⁸

The fictitious Dolly and the real Emily became role models for Miss Spelt. (Attachment ‘D’) Miss Spelt became the muse for Sparke Helmore’s writing etiquette. I couldn’t ‘employ’ Miss Grammar as she was already gainfully employed in the USA.³⁹ So Miss Spelt became the Firm’s in-house grammar, spelling and plain English guru.

In-house writers

I was glad to discover that some USA law firms were attempting to reform their legal writers by retaining writers-in-residence to run in-house training programs on writing, and to provide publishing advice and editing help. Although some writers in residence were lawyers, many weren’t. Instead they were former journalists or communication experts who offered an ‘unencumbered view of the writing itself.’⁴⁰

I don’t profess to be a professional writer - although I am flattered that my profile for this conference states I have written a novel. (Well, I have written a novel – its’ just that it hasn’t been published). And Sparke Helmore wasn’t ready to employ a writer but I had already put pen to paper so they did get a writer of sorts.

But the employment of in-house writers in USA firms confirmed that I was on the right track - that law is a profession of language and writing an important skill for lawyers. Hundreds of recently surveyed USA lawyers ranked ‘oral and written communications’ as the most important skills for practising law – even more important than substantive legal knowledge.⁴¹ Why should it be any different for Australian lawyers? And there was no denying that Australians could write fiction well. The USA might boast its Steinbeck, Fitzgerald and Hemingway but Australia too has its White, Stead, Carey and maybe one day … Miles.

But until then, I can indulge my enthusiasm for creative writing as well as employ Miss Spelt. No longer fearful of correcting lawyers for bad grammar or writing, I can hide behind Miss Spelt’s skirt.