We applied Clinton's order to his own writing!

Ah, the confubulations and contradictions we plain language pilgrims face.

• Train one group - but leave the rest of the organization in the dark.

• Hire a consultant to rewrite key documents - but don't teach the organization's writers plain language.

• Train middle management - but not the executives.

• Change the regulations into plain language, but not the legislation.

• Legislate plain language - but not in plain language. And since September 11 - create anti-terrorist legislation in mind-numbing legalese.

While we were in the eastern U.S.A., two Philadelphia Inquirer writers rendered an annual report's corporatespeak into plain language. Here is one sentence and its translation:

Before
Despite what remains a challenging environment, we are confident earnings will continue to improve, unless there is further material economic deterioration.

It's the type of descriptor, I think you'll agree, that could cover almost any contingency. And here's a tongue-in-cheek rewrite:

After
Earnings might grow. But then again, maybe not.

Does this sound like Warren Buffet?