When a person believes they have no power, they have no power. They are simply unable to act. There are times...when we each need to feel angry or sad—because that is the inner truth we are experiencing right then, and there are times when it is right to feel anxious, concerned, joyful, or jealous. Unlike the mind, the heart finds it difficult to lie. (Cooper and Sawaf, 1997, p 36)

Results: Personal Changes, Professional Changes

My definition of personal power would be the power to do something or to change something. In this research my goal was to see how involvement and experimentation with new learning and new ways of learning would change me. My journal and notes on reading have given me the data for serious reflection. Looking back over the months I realize that I've been both asking tougher questions and making clearer statements. I seem to be using the word "no" more often and more directly. I'm trusting my intuition more and am slower to anger. Changes are taking place in my personal life as well, such as telling my husband, "I probably won't be doing any housework until I've completed this draft." I was surprised to see my personal changes reflected in a report by Mary Norton and Judy Murphy (2001) about their Drawing out the self project:

Although participating in the course did not change women's circumstances, some participants changed how they respond to them. Participants who were interviewed reported that they felt better, had more self esteem, were more open, and were stronger and more able to say "No." ... Singing and art help women to move into other ways of knowing (e.g. non-verbal knowledge, spiritual knowledge) (p. i).

A different type of learning also boosted my "personal power" level, although I found it very difficult. The technique is taught by both yoga masters and Native American writers: shut off my "mind chatter" or "stop thinking in words." Judy Murphy explained the process well in a workshop by comparing training our mind to training a puppy. When the puppy wanders, you gently bring it back, as many times as you need to. You don't speak harshly to it or blame it for acting like a puppy. It's a new behavior; puppy will learn. Doing the same thing with the wandering, chattering mind isn't easy, so I love Judy's analogy.³⁰ Simply quieting the mind isn't meditation, but it's a move in that direction.