Encourage Self-Care

During the course we encouraged participants not to simply tough it out when something was difficult, but instead to be gentle with themselves by passing whenever any round or activity felt too risky, and taking a break when they needed to. We hoped this might lead to an awareness that when we make ourselves endure we sometimes expect others to put up with things as well. We invited participants to figure out what they needed and tried to foreground our interest, availability and caring as facilitators, to notice and check in with a participant when it felt appropriate, and to encourage participants to talk with us if that would help them determine what they might need to take good care of themselves.

We recognized that participants might often have different and sometimes conflicting needs. Wherever possible, we were ready to explore with participants how to create a supportive setting, allow options and encourage them to make their own choices about what worked for them. We saw the creation of safety as a collaborative process involving participants and ourselves, but with us taking the lead to raise options and present processes. For example, during one workshop a participant caught up on sleep during some of the time designated for working alone. Our encouragement that this was a good use of her time seemed particularly important for her ability to be present during other sessions. As well, it modelled an approach of trusting students to participate in the best way they could to support their own learning, avoiding any judgment of laziness or lack of commitment. We also found that it was extremely valuable to have three of us as facilitators, as we were able to discuss issues, explore our different reactions, consider various approaches and notice different details. It also meant that when one of us led a session, two could observe reactions and check in with a participant if it seemed necessary.

We recognized it is always risky to reveal the self, particularly when focusing on challenging and disturbing material. We brought participants together early in the process with the intention of helping them feel more comfortable with each other online. Many said this initial contact was crucial to how comfortable they felt and to how much they revealed during the course. When participants posted online, we tried to ensure that one of us, as a facilitator, quickly posted a response so participants would not feel that they were unsupported in sending out their words. In particular, when posts were particularly "raw," we made sure the response was quick and validating. Gradually participants also took on encouraging and offering care for each other, online and in workshops.