Recognizing My Needs

I think that to some extent anyone who works in literacy does so because they want to help people. Some days it seemed so easy to look at the struggles of my participants' lives and see solutions. One student was being bullied by her adult son who lived with her. It was difficult not to suggest that she ask him to leave, or at least have him do his own cooking and cleaning. It was even difficult not to literally take home the woman who was living in an unsafe place. Knowing that any of these actions would be inappropriate, I had to find the balance of what I could do effectively. In the writing group, I provided a space where women were safe to share, wonder and look at their lives and futures. I provided strength and support when needed, as well as information. I asked questions but didn't judge. I worked hard to offer a solid foundation for them so that they could begin whatever journey they chose to take.

While it was important to learn to watch for clues to my students' needs, it was equally important to be able to realize what I needed. I loved teaching this group of women. But it was very difficult. Every week I saw these wonderful women struggling through their lives. It hurt my soul to hear about events and people in their past that hurt them. It was even more difficult to hear the resignation in their writing and in their voices when they believed there was nothing good in the future for them. Some days I don't know how someone could or why someone would listen to people's pain and struggles as part of their job. But I learned though the VALTA Project the importance of taking the space I needed and setting the boundaries of what I could take on and what I couldn't. To my surprise, no one thought less of me for not taking on more. The students didn't want or need one more person in authority telling them what they should do. I also learned, from the women in my class, how much beauty there is in life. I saw strong, amazing women making changes in their lives, quitting drugs, moving out, opening up to new relationships and taking responsibility (and joy) for the lives they have and the lives they want.

The Need for Balance

My being aware of and open to the issues of violence, and my willingness to follow the path this knowledge sets out, made a huge difference in the lives of my students and the people with whom I work. By realizing that our disruptive student needed a variety of writing prompts and the safety of not being judged, we created a safe place for her. In fact, it was her only safe place. Her attendance was near perfect, despite all the disruptive and dangerous influences in her life. When we discussed the merits of our poetic student's writing, she felt creative and talented. She began writing outside of class, and began writing for other audiences as a way of expressing herself to her friends and family.