Acceptance

Once I became more aware of the students and their in-class behavior and personalities, I could see a little more into their lives. I became aware of what they needed from me as a facilitator. This is an important distinction. I couldn't fix their lives or force them to fit into a classroom mold for their "benefit." They never asked for that. What all the students needed was acceptance of where they were in any given moment; they needed the support found in the classroom. It became clear that my main role wasn't to extract a binder full of good writing. My job was to create a space where the women felt accepted for the strong, if struggling, women they were. I encouraged, supported and validated each participant. They felt confident with their place and importance in the group because I honestly felt that they were valuable members. I accepted them as whole people, and worked with their issues instead of around them. This did not mean I had to fix their problems or move them into my spare bedroom. The students neither expected nor wanted that from me.

Leadership and Group Roles

The ideas of group dynamics and leadership are very closely connected to those of structure and goals. A group is defined by its goals and design. But groups are dynamic, and group issues extend past the constructs of design and purpose.

By far the most exciting thing about this project was watching the group grow and form a real community. As is common in small towns, each of the members had connections outside of the writing group. Some were positive, some were not.

In addition to the classroom structure described earlier, Janet and I worked to create a safe emotional structure. While consistency and flexibility are important, emotional (and physical) safety is essential. Physical safety was addressed by the private, comfortable space where the women felt ownership. Emotional safety was addressed by directing the way the group interacted through modeling and positive feedback.

I am normally very nervous in new and potentially emotional situations. The prospect of a student disclosing painful information terrified me. I had no idea how I would react. Would my reactions be "right"? Would I do more harm than good? I decided early on that my only option was to be honest. If I was shocked, it was okay to be shocked. I was asking the members to be honest with their emotions; it was only fair that I was as well. With that decision firmly in my mind, the others fell into place.