"My husband on the other hand would say, well that's your job or you don't have to work. Which was always his biggest thing. Because you see his mother never worked. I only worked because he didn't quite make enough money, but it got to the point where he in fact made enough money. I did not have to work and I still worked because I wanted to work. There was this transition where I worked because I had to work in order to go to school. I had to be able to pay for it. This was a big bone of contention because my salary paid for child care and my education and that's it. So it was obvious I didn't have to work. I had to work for me.

"My husband was not real supportive. He had his degree. He saw absolutely no reason for me to do what I was doing but he wasn't obstructive. He wasn't supportive but he wasn't obstructive. He was a much better typist than I was because I always refused to type. He would type my papers for me. He was supportive in that way but there was that constant complaint about this not being done or that not being done. Plus he would only babysit one night a week.

"Of course my husband and I would have screaming matches and went through all of these kinds of things but I was bound and determined that I was going to finish. He saw no reason for me to put myself and the whole family through this kind of stress." - Norma

"My ex-husband's mother babysits for me when I need her to babysit. My youngest brother lives here so he baby-its, my best friend, she helps me with my homework if I need it. I have a lot of friends and family even on my ex-husband's side that help me. We're all very close. I'm very fortunate." - Sandra

Kids

"At first they didn't believe that Mommy wasn't going to make supper every night. I had to put a list on the fridge — everybody got a night to make supper and a room to clean. My husband was harder to train than the kids." - Sandra

"You have to realize that it doesn't matter if they never clean their rooms. In the overall scheme of things it doesn't matter. Close the door. If they want to live in it, leave their clothes lying on the floor, don't buy them any more new clothes." - Norma

"One talks on the phone and the other plays Nintendo. When they go to their friends it's nice and quiet and I can do my homework. . . Well I tell them to help around but they never do so I end up doing it myself. They don't do a good job." - Audrey

"Of course I was raised properly and it was my responsibility to look after the kids. I was married and I had a husband but that wasn't his job. That wasn't his responsibility. It never occurred to me until a bit later that he had some responsibilities here too. . .

"The kids were old enough then to fix meals for themselves. I had taught them how to cook. They could do spaghetti. They could do basic kinds of things and when it was their day to cook, we would eat whatever they cooked. At first what I did was one person would cook and someone else would clean.