sharing our experiences

Joan's Story

Violence barely affected my education until my ex-husband was released on parole near the end of my first year of university. Although during that year I had felt fear and tension, the stress was worse now he was out. I had my safety to think about; I did not want to be another murder statistic, so I had to go to a woman's shelter until I completed my first year.

I knew I could not stay in the province to get my diploma so arrangements had to be made to transfer my credits to another province. If I did not complete my first year I would have to start over which I felt was unfair as I had already done one year except for two subjects. With a lot of edginess, fear and anger, I stayed to complete the two subjects. The added stress caused me to lose concentration, bringing my marks down. I was also denied the social life I needed for balance in my life. This was ironic--he was free and I was now like a prisoner. My attitude was "I don't care whether or not I make this course, I just want out of here." I had many sleepless nights and would go to class in a "zombied state."

People in our education systems and programs need to be aware that one in every four women is a victim of abuse; they need better knowledge and understanding of this issue. Counsellors should be available for abused woman. There should also be training on gender issues in violence and abuse. The system must be flexible enough accommodate the real life situations that many women face. Confidentiality is another important factor so a woman is protected while taking classes.

I know I will complete the course I am taking and it will be because of the determination I have had to do this. I have had to leave the province to complete my course, the abuser has control of my life even though we are no longer together.