John, Not Me

I had a brother named John. John was two years older than I was. We were in the same class at school together. John and I were always in trouble at school. John had epilepsy and I did not learn.

John was not supposed to ride bicycles. One day we rode a bicycle together - over another kid. John had a seizure, and I got the strap.

John and I were always together. I loved him. He was my big brother. I took care of him and he of me.

One day in Grade Two, John fell asleep in class. The teacher hit him on the head with a book. I got really mad. I struck the teacher and screamed at her: "John was having a seizure, not sleeping!" John died that day. So did I.

You see John could not go back to school. He was placed in an institution, Huronia, where he died nine years later. The year he died I was sixteen, and I was placed in a mental institution.

John died, but not me.

- Donna Lovell

From The Story I Never Told edited by Guy Allen. Metro Toronto Movement for Literacy. Used by permission.