They also experienced self-blame and self-doubt. Women's isolation led to internalizing the reasons for women's lack of resources. They wondered if they were actually deserting the men. They wondered if they were doing the research the way it was supposed to be done.

Women were exhausted by their work, burned out by the ongoing lack of funding, validation, support. They felt uncomfortable at the lack of privacy in their program, at the aggressive behaviour of some of the men. When colleagues were not supportive of the research, women felt let-down and disappointed.

Women experienced shock and surprise throughout their documentation of the research. In one program, a woman's boyfriend was murdered by her ex-husband. In another, women became acquainted with the common, everyday experiences of each other's lives. They were surprised by the positive experience of taking part in this project. They were surprised by women's inability to name a single woman role-model.

The Theatre Group

The women in the theatre group began Friday morning focusing on a central question in much of the documentation: Why is it hard for women to move from personal, individual growth to political action and structural change?

They talked about power and people's willingness, or lack of willingness, to change. They talked about the disruption involved in personal, political, and structural change. One woman said "Sometimes I wish I was just back where I used to be. But I'm not comfortable there any more either."

Cathy short uses body sculpture to display one of the feellin gs she found in the documentation.

Someone else questioned why women have to justify their work by showing some kind of change beyond personal or individual growth. Political action, she said, has to begin in personal change. "The individual is a little dot. Everything spirals out from there." Some women noted that there are those who feel that personal change is the beginning of something, while others believe it is the end.

Feminist research is always labeled "personal," one woman noted. It's "just" about women. It's not about men. Other women added that feminist research is very much , about men - but men don't want to recognize themselves in it. It's" only" about women's perception of men and that isn't enough. The men have to be the ones doing the perceiving to it real and important .