I wanted to be with other women who experienced and cared about the same things I did. I wanted to feel less alone. I wanted to grow and to take that growth back to my work with other women. I figured the Women's Upgrading Program at Arctic College could benefit from the stronger tie to CCLOW and vice-versa.

Life slipped and bumped along until all of a sudden it was time to get ready for the first national meeting of women from the twelve programs in the research. The calls to actually arrange air travel, expense money, etc., started. Then the airplane tickets arrived and stayed tucked away until it was time to pack.

I could say lots about the first national meeting - some feelings, lots of analysis, my own visions for the future of this research. I'm excited about the experiment of doing projects with the women and the experiment of researching that experience. I'm excited about the community development it will encourage. And I can't wait to start sharing our project and the national project with the wise women in my day-to-day life back in Arviat.

January 24, 1992

I went to the regular Friday staff meeting at the Learning Centre today, feeling good that I would see the other staff and update them on the women and literacy research project.

I launched into a summary of the background, purpose, and approach of the project. I made it clear I'd be keeping a journal as part of my work in the research, and I'd try to record the effects of the Women's Upgrading Program on the learners, the Centre, the community, and myself.

One instructor asked a few questions in what I perceived to be a skeptical manner. However, she's clearly stated her lack of empathy /sympathy / understanding for anything she labels "feminist." The other instructors didn't say too much about the project and seemed neutral or disinterested. When someone asked if "that was all on that topic," I realized the whole response was not what I'd expected.

My real feelings didn't surface until after I'd finished with my next meeting and was walking home. I felt disappointed, let down, and a little stunned. I mulled over how my role with the Women's Upgrading Program might change, and how the changes might affect the research project. I knew for sure I'd be much more on my own than I'd anticipated.

January 28, 1992

I went to the Learning Centre for the first night of classes. No one showed. I sat there in an empty, quiet building wondering "What now?" I thought if women weren't coming to the Centre then how could the learning be taken to them? Where were they, and what were they doing? I felt safe in assuming there were women who still wanted the wonderful, growing experience of the Women's Upgrading Program. I knew I still wanted that experience!