March 27, 1992

Last week when the women and I talked about recipes and sexuality, we also ended up talking about other Arctic College programs. We discussed why some students get paid (sponsored) to go to school. I assumed they knew more about this kind of stuff. Anyway, they ended up saying what they wanted to do. One woman said she was going to try to go to school full-time next year as a sponsored student because it would be better than cleaning for other people and baby-sitting. Another said she was going to apply to go to school full-time, too. When she finishes she's going to "head straight to the Northern store" and apply to be a stock clerk. These are the most detailed descriptions about personal goals or plans that I've heard in three years. Clearly, asking them the question point blank doesn't work. I've tried to think of better "asking" techniques, but maybe I should be developing better "listening" techniques.

April 1, 1992

We had a nurse from the Health Centre in to talk to us more about bodies, birth control, etc. She included the structure and function of men's and women's bodies; differences in sexual arousal between men and women; contraceptives (pill, IUD, foam, condom); sexually-transmitted diseases; the need for PAP smears.

The topic of birth raised an issue for one student. She's unable to have babies and didn't want to participate in the class at first. Eventually she moved closer to the front. Once, when she moved up to look at something on the table, I heard her say, "Why am I looking? I can't have babies." The nurse asked her why and she said the doctor didn't tell her why. The nurse said that "ticked her off" and she could come to the Health Centre where they would look over her chart. The student had tears in her eyes and by the end of the class both she and another student had arranged to go to the Health Centre on Friday afternoon.

The nurse, a woman about my mother's age, did a good presentation on a topic which can be very difficult. She looked totally at ease demonstrating proper use of condoms on her fingers. I tried to picture my own mother putting condoms on her fingers! Her apparent ease put us all at ease, but she did sound patronizing at times - telling the women they "should" do this or it would be "good" for them if they'd just do that. How can people make those statements when they know very little about these women's lives? Then I think the nurse probably knows a side of things I couldn't even imagine.

A couple examples of things she said that made me uncomfortable: "Don't have a baby every year. Wait two years." "If a guy wants to have sex and you don't, say 'No'." Also, she wasn't going to bring up the possible problems of the IUD until I asked. I feel uncomfortable not sharing all the information I have in a two-way exchange, especially when I know the people I'm with don't have the same power or resources I have. At certain points I saw great opportunities for discussion, reflection, and drawing on all our experiences. To be fair, of course, she wasn't there for that. I'm only going into this because I was struck by the idea that there are probably very real differences between women who work with other women depending on the field or role we're in. The nurse and I could both be seen to be doing "woman- positive" work, but because of our roles (me in literacy, her in health) we have grown accustomed to very different approaches. Then, too, she trained and practices in a profession dominated by male doctors. But in the end, we're both trying to help women.