I came to realize that presenting the profile of one composite woman from the group I might help others understand the kinds of experience and change that was happening.

A composite profile

Sally grew up in a mid-sized town on the prairies. Her parents were white, working class people. Neither her father nor her mother finished high school, but both are literate.

From the small child's perspective, life is wonderful. She has all she needs - food, clothing, and a warm bed. She gets shown affection, now and then. She has friends to play with. She only gets a spanking if she has been a "bad girl."

When she is six years old, Sally looks forward to going to school. School will be wonderful because she can read books and play with lots of other children. She is a happy, warm, outgoing child who has lots of friends. Her teachers always give positive reports as she does relatively well in school.

When Sally reaches 9 or 10 years old, she begins to feel a little neglected by her parents. They don't cuddle and love her the way they used to. She is a big girl now. She has to begin to help around the house and her parents are beginning to depend on her to help with the household chores. There are a number of other siblings in the home and mother and father are busy trying to "put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads."

At this time an older male relative, Uncle, begins to show Sally the attention she needs. It starts with wrestling, tickling, and playing games together. Over time, Uncle changes the games. He begins by touching her in her private places.

At first she feels very uncomfortable, but Uncle tells her how much he loves her and what a good girl she is. She doesn't like it, but can't do anything about it. Eventually, Uncle has sexual intercourse with her. Uncle tells her that it is their secret and mother and father will punish her if she says anything. He doesn't want to see her get punished, so he will keep the secret and she must too. Sally is just 11 years old.

After many abusive encounters, Sally is no longer the same little girl. She is no longer happy and outgoing. She becomes withdrawn and a little sullen. She doesn't enjoy school so much any more and has trouble concentrating on her work. She is beginning to get in trouble with the teacher because she doesn't always have her homework done and what is done is not good enough. She doesn't enjoy playing with her friends any more, either. She prefers to sit on a swing and just be by herself. Her friends are different now. They tease her and say mean things to her. She doesn't know what the matter is; she is just confused about everything.