Reflections - End of April 1992

The information is still very much the same. Women are telling us the same stories about domestic violence, childcare, financial problems, single parents trying to live on welfare, and the list goes on. Life seems very bleak for a lot of women. They want to do something for themselves but many are kept back by their partners. Others just can't afford baby-sitters or transportation, or they feel they can't dress well enough to go out. So they don't bother.

One woman suggested that women could get together and share their resources and skills. Women could baby-sit for each other and do some car pooling. Women who sew could do that for others in return for some homemade bread or whatever.

Things are getting difficult here at Rabbittown. We haven't had any funding since last November and we're still waiting to hear about our last grant. If we would just get some funding we would have a lot more incentive to really get something going for at least the women who seem to want to get out.

We asked women, "What do you think is happening in women's lives that might stop them from coming to these programs?" They spoke movingly of the barriers women face everyday that keep them isolated and alone.

Many spoke of the insecurity and shame women feel. They talked about how hard many women find it to mix with others, to meet new people, and to go to new\ places - especially the first time. This is particularly hard for women who have been "out of things" for a long time. One woman said," I only go to the Shoppers Drug Mart. I have one friend and she lives upstairs." Others talked about being afraid of other people and of fearing others would think they are stupid. Some suggested that if a woman has an alcoholic husband, and perhaps there are fights, she would be ashamed to go out in the community in case she was recognized.

Childcare was another major barrier women identified. They talked about being unable to get baby-sitters and about being unable to afford baby-sitters. One woman said quite bluntly, "I have no money for a baby-sitter which makes it hard to get involved in anything." Some women said they don't believe in leaving their children with baby-sitters. Others simply stated that women who have children just don't have any extra time.

Men's resistance to women's participation was named as a common obstacle "When women try to improve their lives, men start to hold them back." Some women said their husbands control what they do and prevent them from going out, even for a few hours. As one woman said, "I feel some husbands just don't want their wives to go out. They use lack of money for an excuse for not going anywhere."