That consistent competitive achievement (male-defined achievement) is the only valid indication of psychological independence. (There is a "Catch 22" here, because Dowling manages to make even the "successful" woman suffer from overwhelming dependence needs by label- ling her achievement as counter-dependent ).

That dependence and independence are dichotomous and independence the desirable state. Dependency is clearly "bad" in this book; although token acknowledgment is given to the "normal" dependency needs of all humans, there is no indication of what is "normal" for a woman or what constructive forms these needs may take. The goal is to rid oneself of dependency needs lest they sneak up on you in some destructive form to become autonomous (defined as the opposite of dependency). There is no discussion of the possibility of healthy trust or interdependence and little consideration of the need to develop different forms, personally and socially, through which women (and men) might resolve the dilemma by accepting and meeting the inevitable human dependency needs, in different ways.

That individual, deep psychological needs are solely the responsibility of the individual. That an individual woman can and should be able to overcome her early socialization without requiring any change in the social contraints which reinforce that learning or needing any form of social-psychological support during the process. The corollary of this assumption is that men are, in fact, independent and have overcome such needs, if they ever had them. There is no mention of the strategies adult men have available to support themselves when they feel dependent: the nurture available from women, the predictability of their life course demands, the esteem building structures of work organizations, the security of knowing what the norms and expectations of life are, and the permission to seek support from women, and often from other men. Dowling's interpretation of women's dependency needs is rehashed Freud, based on an idealized image of men and a "by-definition-incomplete" image of women.

That it is dependence on men which is the source of women's problem and that, if necessary, relationships with men must be sacrificed to achieve personal independence. Men are somehow portrayed as the villains, (even though it was Dowling's husband who "rescued" her from her own slide into escaping responsibility for her own life by insisting on the necessity of her attaining her own economic independence). Men are never presented as potential allies in women's fight to develop their autonomy (in my experience, men are often far more supportive of my autonomy than are other women without rejecting my occasional needs to be dependent).

That overcoming one's dependency needs is an achievement -- an outcome of some process (essentially undecided) which occurs once in the adult woman's life and is forever accomplished. There is no recognition of the developmental timing of the process, nor of its cyclical nature in the lives of most women. It is as if Dowling has fallen victim to the myth that the adult woman "arrives" at age 21 and never again struggles with feeling vulnerable or afraid or confused with the events and demands of living through the phases of her adult life. Dowling makes no acknowledgment of the by now extensive literature which reflects these developmental themes -- a serious omission in light of the similarity of the issue identified here and the assumptions identified by Gould (Transformation) and the mid-life reexamination issues prevalent in men's lives identified by Levinson (Seasons of a Man's Life), as well as work more clearly focussed on women's developmental experience such as Rubin's Women of a Certain Age.