SORRY I'M LATE

but
I woke up with my period and found
my box of tampons had turned to dandelions,
gone to seed just like on the TV ads.

I left for work, early, in my new ruby slippers
and an awful wind took me from the bus stop
carried me all the way to K-Mart
into the arms of a scientologist
buying oil in the hardware section.
He helped me
find myself, my shoes.

In the elevator
a supervisor smelled my briefcase
told me
tuna sandwiches have been banned
in the secretarial pool.
(I snacked between the 8th and 11th floors
and had to wash my face).

Honestly, I woke up in time but
my Harley-Davidson is missing a cylinder
I had to move Mozart for the shower
I swear the calendar read 1958
the cat knocked over the moon
I slept in.

PAM TRANFIELD