Will my Hurt Go Away
By Mary Rennie
It first started when I got married. The marriage was terrible, it was a mess. I was pregnant when I got married and I already had a child my husband didn't own. This child , was never treated very good through the marriage. My husband used to try and hit my child but I would stand in the way and get hit instead. I had five children after that for my husband.
I was washing clothes one day and hanging them on a line in the kitchen to dry when my husband came in and blackened my two eyes for no reason I knew of. It seemed everything I did was wrong. He didn't like how I cooked so he would go eat at his mother's. He never helped with the kids. He would go off with other men. I cooked and cleaned and raised the children myself. If they failed in school, he blamed it on me.
I was always running away and hiding because there was always fighting and he was always trying to beat me up. My two oldest children by my husband sometimes tried to run my life. My daughter even went so far as to hit me. My son ended up in the mental hospital.
Finally, after fifteen years and many times trying to leave my husband, I made the break. I found it hard because I am on my own now. My husband, soon to be my ex-husband, is still better off than me because he has no record; he always got me to drop the charges against him. He knows it's over but still comes to my home. He seems to be trying to make up for all the bad things he did; I know it's over.
At that time there was no chance for me to improve my education. There was too much going on in the home. Now, I'm a single mother, my kids are in school and I have "free time" to work on my reading and writing.
Mary Rennie is a 47 year old single mother with five children still at home. She lives in St John' s, Nfld., and is upgrading her reading and writing at the Rabbittown Learner' s Program.
The Rabbittown Learner's Program is a community-based literacy program which was organized and sponsored by the Rabbittown Community Association, a group formed by tenants with the Newfoundland and Labrador Housing Corporation (NLHC). A community centre which is owned and maintained by NLHC offers recreational, social and educational programs for all age groups in the St. John' s North association. It serves 284 housing units; 133 are single parents households and 95% of the residents live on some form of government assistance.
The Rabbittown Learner' s Program was started in 1988 and provides irregular employment for six women--a coordinator, an administrative assistant and four tutors. The group organizes small fund-raising activities, but for the most part, the program is financed through Job Development