The group discussion which these questions foster usually relaxes participants and makes it possible to shift from a lecture presentation to one where people feel free to ask questions and make comments. Basing the questions on experiences that participants have likely had with women helps them to realize that the information they gain will be of use to them in their daily work. We also try, through the dialogue and discussion, to help them formulate ways of talking to women about experiences of violence in a non-judgmental manner.

The sessions we conduct are half-day or full-day workshops, using two or more facilitators. We also rely on speakers or videos, produced by the National Film Board or emergency shelters, to help us explain what it is like for women to be involved in abusive relationships. Core materials covered in each workshop are: indicators of abuse; descriptions of abusive behaviours; statistics of incidence; information on the cycle of violence which some women report; how to appropriately interview and make referrals; a discussion about why it is difficult for women to leave their partners; the effects of experiencing or witnessing violence on children; and referral sources of help in the community.

Whenever possible we ask a woman who has survived violence to speak about her experience and what assisted her to end the violence in her life. It is important to note that women who are participants often recall their own experiences when they hear or see other women speaking about abuse. It is necessary to address this possibility at the outset of each session and to be available for discussion or consultation afterwards.

Being able to question someone who has faced violence helps people immensely in understanding why leaving is so difficult. Several years ago we spent considerable time presenting information about how the cycle of violence keeps women trapped in abusive relationships. In recent years we have become aware that the most common reason women stay is the very real danger that leaving presents to them, to their children and perhaps even to their partners. Recognition of this danger helps professionals to fashion better responses to the abused women who approach them.

After covering the above material we spend time relating what we have discussed to the actual work of the people in attendance. Mediators are helped with such things as devising safe methods of ending mediation sessions where abuse has been recognized. Nursing professionals look at ways to provide interim safety in a crisis situation. Financial workers in social service agencies are encouraged to review policies to determine if women who are fleeing abuse are getting the financial support they need to set up a separate residence. Lawyers go through the separation process and examine how the experience of abuse will alter the process in making decisions about custody, access, and division of property.

Organizing workshops around such discussions is time-consuming but we have been assisted by course planners to understand the duties of those in attendance. As well, by having the participants listen to the stories of women and the counsellors that work with them, stumbling blocks to appropriate responses are easy to identify. We then take these problem areas and try to devise ways of turning situations around for the benefit of women.