Leanne, a grade 12 student, raised a point I had not considered: “It's like you get the shorts and you are in the beginning of grade 9 and then over the next two years you kind of grow. I mean your body changes and they don't fit you.” When I heard this, I was reminded of how I feel when I reach for a piece of clothing that does not fit me anymore. I must admit, I usually do not feel very good about it but I have the luxury of choosing not to wear it. These young women have no such choice. Shorts that no longer fit serve as yet another reminder that their body is changing and does not resemble the ones in the magazines. Those bodies stay extremely young and slim.

Locker rooms:feeling exposed.

In grades nine and ten the young women did not have physical education with the boys, but there were times when the boys could see them. This heightened their anxiety about the shorts: “I mean you weren't in class with the guys but the guys were around you and you had to wear those stupid uniforms and the shorts were like skin tight and so short and they didn't cover anything and the guys were just over there and it was so humiliating the clothes that you had to wear.” The young women repeatedly questioned why they had to wear shorts. “Why do we have to wear those short shorts? Why can't we just wear what we feel comfortable in?” I am afraid I had few answers.

Swimming

The young women were scheduled to participate in a half day of swimming at a local outdoor pool during the first week of June. Early in the study, I asked a group of grade nine girls if there was anything about physical education they would like to talk about. I vividly remember Camille raising her head, nodding and softly saying, "I am worried about the swimming. Can we talk about that?" Camille was not alone.

Being in a bathing suit in front of classmates was the cause of much concern for almost all the young women. Several expressed the fear that the boys would look at them and laugh. Audrey, a grade eleven student, explained, "Being in front of guys in your bathing suit is so tough because people don't feel good about themselves." Some young women were concerned about the derogatory comments that would be made in the hall after the boys had seen them in their bathing suit; “They will say stuff like 'ha, ha, remember her in her bathing suit.”

The fear of boys passing judgment on their bodies was raised repeatedly: “When we first knew we were going to swim with the guys there were a lot of girls who were insecure. You know, it was like 'Oh my god, the guys are going to see us' and 'Oh no, it is not like they don't laugh at us enough already'.” Others related past experiences of swimming with the boys in other physical education classes: “When we went swimming last year there were lots of guys who would say stuff like 'look at that fat chick', or 'she has no bobs, stuff like that.” Alexis told the group, “ that iswhy I don't go on the diving board anymore don't like standing there waiting my turn because they can all see me and they scream stuff.” When I asked some of the young women how they would change the swimming, one replied, “Oh that's easy, just let us swim by ourselves it's not that I don't want to swim, I just don't want swim with the boys.”