Successful outcomes are achieved through the exercise of the wishbone, the backbone, and of the funny bone.
We begin to exercise our wishbone when we fantasize and daydream and expose ourselves to new experiences-trying on new roles- Childhood and adolescence is a great time to exercise our wishbone. But throughout the lifespan, if we are still growing, we are always exercising our wishbone. Perhaps your experiences of childhood were fortunate. Was childhood a time when you were allowed to daydream? To envision the future adult you would become? Were your interests encouraged? Did the significant adults in your world let you know what you did well? Was childhood a safe place to grow, get to know yourself, and your world? As a child, which adults did you most admire and why? What characteristics and qualities did these adults posses that you most admire today? What were you taught to value?
How was success defined: In the media? By your family? Your friends? Did your experiences in school encourage you to think of yourself as less than capable, and perhaps that your future as an adult would be bleak? Did teachers, guidance counsellors, and peers attempt to force you into a mould that you felt just wasn’t who you were? What was going on back then-What were the insurmountable obstacles that you were facing- What has changed since back then?
For the majority of people the time of childhood and adolescence was less than ideal! Remember: you survived! What aspects of your childhood and adolescence would you rather not carry into your adult life? Did you like the lifestyle that your parents lived? Why or why not? What ‘baggage’ from childhood have you carried with you into your adult life? Did your parents want you to be the success they never attained? Does society’s definition of success resonate with you? Have you ever thought about the reason(s) for this? Do you think that attainment of status and a high income will enable you to put the nightmare of a bad childhood behind you? Would success make up for that tragic time? Do you have the inner strength to let this all go? How do you, now, define success? What are the cherished dreams from that time you still hold? What are the elements of these dreams that resonate with you, and what unmet needs are these pointing out? What sort of a lifestyle would enable you to achieve personal happiness? Exactly what do you want to achieve in life? What will be necessary to attain such a lifestyle? Is this dream attainable, given the individual’s resources, stage of life, etc? Should the dream be modified, let go, or pursued? “If you had your life to live over again . . . ?” Answering these questions is exercising your wishbone.
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