An old drunk once boarded the train in Comer Brook for St. John's. The only luggage he had was a small carton which he carried under his arm. His buddy was waiting for him when he arrived. "How did you get on, boy? Did you have a good time?" "Hold your tongue my son. Twas all bad enough, but worst of all I lost the best part of my luggage." " That's too bad. What happened? Did you misplace it or did someone steal it?" "No Boy, nothing like that. The stopper came out of the bottle."

A Newfie walked into a club where they sold beer by the glass from kegs. He asked the manager how many kegs of beer they sell there in a week. "Thirty five kegs, my son," the manager said. "0h," the Newfie replied, "For a couple of free drinks I can tell you a way you can double that and see seventy in a week." "Oh that's interesting, the drinks are yours. Tell us the secret." "Fill up the glasses," the man replied.

This Newfie went to visit his doctor for a check up. The doctor thumbed him over for a while then he said to him, "How much do you weigh John?" "160 lbs sir." "What's the most you ever weighed?" "175 lb sir." "What's the least you ever weighed?" " 8 1/4 lb sir."

This young fellow went to work for an old farmer whose wife was by no means good looking. This was before the flashlight come on the market. When Saturday evening came, the young fellow was rigging out a kerosene lantern. Seeing this the farmer said to him, "Where are you going?" "To see my girlfriend," was the reply. "That's a waste of kerosene. I never carried a lantern when I went to see my girl." "No sir, but look what you got."

This four year old boy said to his mother, "Mommy, where did I come from?" The mother, somewhat embarrassed, said to her son, "Ask Daddy when he comes home. He may explain to you." After he is advised about the little fellows curiosity, the father took the little boy aside, sat down, got up, sat down again while trying to think of the right explanation. Finally he said, "Son, why did you ask me that question?" "Because Johnny next door told me he came from Corner Brook and he wanted to know where I came from."

This gentlemen went to the fortune teller. He was nervous but wanted the fortune teller to shed some light on his life. The fortune teller began, "I see your name is Phil." "Right." "Your forty - five years old." "Right." "You're married." "Right." "You're the father of two kids." "Wrong, three" the gentlemen replied, "That's what you think," the fortune teller replied.

Two window cleaners were cleaning windows in a seven story building. Their ladder could only reach to the sixth. They were wondering how they could get to the last window. Then one fellow came up with the answer, "Let's go up on the roof and you lower me down, holding on to my braces. I'll clean the window, then you pull me back." So they went up to the roof. His buddy took hold of his braces and lowered him down. When he started to clean the window, he looked up at his friend and started to laugh. He laughed so much his buddy had to pull him back. "What were you laughing at down there?" " I was thinking that if my braces had burst you would have gotten some smack in the mouth."