A man with a glass eye would take out his eye and place it in a glass of water on his desk every night before he went to bed. One night he woke up wanting a drink of water. Forgetting about his glass eye, he drank the glass of water and of course his eye as well. The next morning he went to see his doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor gave him some medicine and after a little while told him to bend over and he would have a look. After a while the man said to the doctor, "Can you see it, Doc?" "No, my son, I can't see it." "That's funny, I can see you looking at me."

Uncle Bill was walking up Water Street in St. John's when he met this man, "Ain't you Judge Higgins?" "Yes, I'm Judge Higgins. Why do you ask?" "Well," said Uncle Bill, "My wife is your washer woman." "Is that right? I didn't know that." "There's something else you didn't know Judge." "What else is it that I don't know?" "You don't know that I'm wearing one of your white shirts."

There's a little settlement just outside of Corner Brook and there are more kids there than in any other settlement in the country. As a result someone was sent there to check up on it. A woman was asked why it was that there were so many children there. "Well now sir, tis this way, the train passes through home at five o'clock in the morning and wakes everyone. It's too early to get up and we couldn't get back to sleep anymore."

The old lady was sitting alone with her old kerosene lamp when suddenly a genie appeared and offered her three wishes. The old woman said, "I'd like to be rich." Suddenly there was stacks of money everywhere. "My second wish is that I'd like to be beautiful princess." Sure enough there she was standing on the floor, glamorous and in a beautiful evening gown. "Finally I'd like my cat to turn into a handsome prince." Suddenly her cat disappeared and a gorgeous prince was standing beside her. She sprang at him and embraced him. "Now," he said, "I bet you're sorry you took me to the vet for that little operation."

A Catholic couple had a little boy who was three years old. They moved next door to a Protestant couple who had a little girl who was also three years old. They all became good friends. One day the little boy asked his mother what the difference was between a Catholic and a Protestant. His mother told him that he was too young to understand and that she would explain to him later. One day the two kids went swimming and being only tots, they both stripped off all their clothes and enjoyed the splash in the water. When the little boy came back home, his mother asked him if he had lots of fun with the little Protestant girl. "I sure did and Mom, I never knew there was so much difference between a Protestant and Catholic."

Two mainlanders and a Newfie met in a club. They shared drinks with each other and among other things got to talking about their younger days and how far back they could remember. The first mainlander could remember his first birthday, "Mom took me to a party and my Dad brought me home." The second mainlander could remember when he was born. "His mom took him to a party; and his Dad brought him home." The Newfie said, "I can remember before I was born. My Dad took me to a party and my mother brought me home!"