Cycle of Violence

Many women express they are confused about the pattern of violence they experience in relationships. Abusive partners follow a pattern called The Cycle of Violence. The Cycle of Violence is the abuser's cycle, not the victim's. Usually, the abuser refuses to admit that there is a problem.

When Does the Abuse Begin?

• The cycle of violence may begin at any time during a relationship. The couple may date for days, weeks or months before the cycle of violence begins.
• Some abusive partners can be abusive at the start of a relationship, or partners may seem very romantic, caring, loving, respectful and considerate.
• In the beginning of the relationship, the abuser will try to get his/her partner to share personal information with them; however, the abuser does not share personal information about themselves with their partner.
• The abusive partner’s behaviours may be seen as flattering by his/her partner (i.e. “Don’t go out with your friends, I just want to be alone with you.” or, “You are so beautiful, I don’t want other guys looking at you.”)
• These subtle signs become more frequent and intense as the relationship continues.