1. Denial and Isolation — the no, not me phase
2. Anger — the why me phase
3. Bargaining — the OK, but let me have one wish first phase
4. Depression — the mourning for what was and will be gone phase
5. Acceptance — the achieving of inner and outer peace phase

We know that similar feelings are experienced during times of major organizational or personal change. The stages and some of the typical symptoms are outlined below:

1. Shock and Denial — refusal to accept that the change is final; refusal to accept that we have to act in new ways. "If I ignore it, it will go away". We often see that in people who have been given notice that their jobs will disappear — right up to the very end they may make no move to prepare for the day of reckoning.
2. Anger — having acknowledged that a change is demanded, the natural response is to fight it, to preserve the existing. We challenge to see if we can alter the decision in any way and to see if we can have influence. The actions signify the attempt to regain control of one's own life.
3. Bargaining — attempting to negotiate a less painful outcome. "If I agree to use your system, you won't make me report to a new person, will you?"
4. Depression — when it appears there is no way to avoid or bargain with change, feelings of fatigue and actions that indicate an "I don't care anymore" attitude. This can be very serious during a major organizational change as many people may become ill.
5. Acceptance — the recognition of the new order of things and the 'buy-in'. "OK, you guys, that's how it is; now, how can I win in this situation?" This represents acceptance of the new status quo and the ability to move forward.

As managers, we are both the initiators of change and the recipients of change brought on from outside or above. Thus, we go through these stages ourselves during times of change and we experience the symptoms as our people go through them as well. We need to see that anger is useful and the 'premature acceptance' may, in fact, be a sign of being stuck in the depression stage. Just when we think we are winning, in fact we are losing our people!

To help people accept change, we should encourage ways to celebrate the past (that is, to help them let go). We must keep the lines of communication open — we need to know where each of our staff is in the process of moving through the stages and provide the right responses at the right time. For example, when a person is in the Anger stage, and is testing his or her ability to influence the new system, help the person find a way to influence something meaningful. This way they see that they can achieve some control and can function within the rules of the new game. Meeting anger with management inflexibility will convince the people that they cannot function in the new system and will cause them to channel their energy into seeking a new game entirely.