Bonnie spoke so proudly and freely to the audience today about her fondness for affirmations. She is a 48-year old African American mother of three. She easily becomes anxious and frustrated in class, especially when she cannot find her homework or understand a concept. She is quick to give up and project her anger onto others. Moreover, she often cannot tolerate criticism. She explained to the workshop participants that the goal of this affirmation activity was to ‘love yourself.’ Furthermore, she made it clear that if the affirmation is said with confidence, then it will come true. She shared her two favorite affirmations with the audience and asked them to memorize them: 1) ‘If you don’t take care of yourself, then you can’t take care of anyone else.’ 2) ‘I accept myself just as I am.’ She even quizzed the participants and gave prizes (lottery tickets which she bought herself) to those who could repeat the affirmations (Teacher reflection notes, 2004)

Bonnie has truly begun the process of transformation. In teachers’ meetings we still speak of her as “rough around the edges” and we sometimes find her “difficult to get her to calm down,” especially when criticized. However, we observe that she “shows up” to the Loves Herself class, participates in other classes, and makes a constant effort towards the homework. Bonnie’s actions prove that she is trying to regain control in a very positive way. She is now cognizant of her struggle with anger management and has made a conscious decision to make a change. As I explained before with the image of the butterfly’s metamorphosis, this transformation will be ongoing for quite some time because her self-worth seems to have been damaged so badly. We learn from her affinity for affirmations that perhaps there were many times in her life when she was not affirmed. She was not validated by others and told that she is a “worthy person.” However, in some way, she is aware of this because she understands that she must “accept herself as she is.” She also acknowledges that she must learn to take care of herself first. She cannot give in to other’s requests, demands, or desires. Bonnie rarely misses a day of school, and she especially tries her best not to miss the Loves Herself Regardless class.