Being a Facilitator with My Experience with Violence

Because of the work I had done in the VALTA course, the intense self-searching, interesting readings, and workshops I had attended, I had the confidence to develop and facilitate this workshop. Still, I was terribly stressed before I did the first one. As well, I had strained a muscle in my back that would not heal, so the night before the workshop I ended up in Emergency for a hip shot of something wonderful. This experience highlighted how learning in a rather stressful situation can affect the whole body.

Part of my stress was wondering if I would be able to facilitate this workshop and be passionate about issues I feel strongly about without becoming emotional. As it turned out, even though I felt passionate about a few things, I didn't get emotional.

I never actually mentioned my personal experience of violence in the first workshop. Pincher Creek is a rural community of about 7,000 people, and many people know my family. I am very conscious of trying not to focus on violence as solely a women's issue, as violence against men is a very important concern. Also, I didn't want the focus to be on my experiences. From this workshop, I learned that having experiences of violence can be a great asset to opening up communication as long as the focus does not become the individual person's self-serving interests.

The second workshop was different, as I did not know anyone and they did not know me. I briefly mentioned my own experience with violence when I introduced myself. I think the only reason I did this was to bring some credentials as to why I was doing this workshop. Then, near the end of the workshop, low and behold if one lady didn't sweetly say, "I would like to hear your story." Oh groan— and just after I was trying to emphasize the ability to help without having to know all the details of violence. Here was a real challenge to practise what I was saying, so I tried to focus on the sources of support I had when I left my husband 13 years ago.