FAYE D. FRITH

Have You Had Mammography

Not looking up from my file at her desk in her cool backroom of their Danforth office north shining window sucking dry for morning east light blood pressure's fine un hnn fine fine fine fine bloodsugar's fine blood type un hunn here's your card carry it on you un hunn make an appointment with your gynecologist - here's your lab form for an ECG here's your do-it-yourself-&-mail-it Colo-Rectal Test - they'll let me know have you had a mammography? - no - receptionist will book you in - check with her before you go I think that's (smiling up) it-

There was a cool wind but the warm sun was beating us pushing tax through deadline twelve: thirty pm & slam through wind subway Greenwood Sherbourne wind & down on down to a Princess Margaret mammography at one - ahhhhh somebody say it hurts - damn damn - incontinence when rushing - so far all small grievances - grandma died of breast cancer

Down on down Sherbourne - got to be & there it is & down on down following the orange & quickly in as if quickly mattered & down on down into the small room with the white woman with her white clothes & under the white terry robe I'm naked to the waist & down on down onto the chair ahhhhh - hardly room catcornered from each other & slammed into angles either gray end of General Electric space arm ray with breast holding hand of platform shape - white nice lady hand arranges slides adjusts each single breast between clear plexiglass black film - now hold your breast - now hold your other hand on head your breath don't breathe and 2 x vertical & 2 X horizontal softly flattened unhurt breasts are rayed - just wait outside & quick as wink - fine you can go - ahhhhhh find & follow the orange out out & up up Sherbourne in to Loblaws for - supper's snow peas bread carrots & mushrooms & through the 6 Items Only & on & stop in front of a WIN box -

WIN a BMX bike no purchase necessary & there on the poster young person "Tide" rides on helmet CO shirt gloves I think & there's the entry form & I put down my groceries & apply & walk at least a block without my groceries & have to go back back at least a block back back & grandma died of breast cancer- cancer dead Anne Sexton said in The Awful Rowing Toward God on page 16 that "when you face old age and its natural conclusion/your courage will still be shown in the little ways/... and at the last moment/when death opens the back door/you'll put on your carpet slippers/and stride out" - & today I wore my walking shoes & entered the kid contest -

Senile, my mother does not sing anymore - senile, my mother has Alzheimer's now & before she sang like a lark & we sang together ahhhhhh - "Senile, my sister sings" Irving Layton says on page 104 of Droppings From Heaven. Senile, my mother doesn't know me now (& we each have an inverted nipple like maybe grandma had but thinks I resemble her some

body say mammography &
somebody say mamma but they're all gone now
somebody say they banished Great Mother &
somebody say Eve drowned &
somebody say Mary a virgin &
grandma dead of breast cancer & mamma
I have old kids but mamma
I entered the kid contest - mamma

mamma