sharing our experiences

Elizabeth's Story

Fear of violence prevented me from focusing on my education. I come from a dysfunctional background, my parents were alcoholics and I was often left in the care of an abusive older brother.

At school, I asserted "control" over my world by not speaking. My goal was to draw as little attention to myself as possible, thus reducing the possibility of being hurt. Unfortunately, my silence attracted the attention of other children. Often, I was surrounded in the school yard and subjected to the attention I did not want. I remember quite clearly an incident in grade eight; I was completely surrounded by several classmates. As they closed in on me, I panicked and delivered a swift kick to one of my abusers. Was I angry at them? No! I was angry at myself for losing control! I reported the incident to the school principal and was ignored. The message I got was that I deserved it, that I needed to change. I didn't go to my grade eight graduation.

I started high school. My parents had quit drinking and I suppose their courage inspired me to change. I decided to have back surgery to correct my spine; I had been wearing a brace--which attracted a lot of abuse. I waited a year to have surgery, during that year I failed every class. It wasn't that I couldn't do the work, I just didn't care. Getting my life together was my first concern; until then, it had been survival.

After surgery, I had months of recovery to assess my situation. I needed a fresh start, as I wanted more than anything just to be a normal teenager. So, I changed schools and behaved as if I had never had a problem. I talked in the hall; I talked during class (what a proud moment it was when the teacher asked me to be quiet!) I was very happy with the progress I was making socially; unfortunately, I was not doing well academically. Eventually, the school counsellor suggested that I drop out!! So I did. And I've been struggling for an education ever since.

Children need to know they have a right to safety. They need to know they are not to blame for what is being done to them. No one has a right to abuse them, no matter what their shortcomings may be.

Children have a right to an education. Educators need to recognize the barriers that prevent children from asserting that right.