sharing our experiences

Windy's Story

I'm now a grown woman of thirty-four years, thinking back to my childhood and how violence has affected my education... When I was between six and eleven years old, my mother was frequently beaten. I remember the many beatings; I wonder how she could have lived through them. Her arm was broken and in a different incident her leg was broken. Face bruised, her body ached so from the punching, kicking and being dragged around. My two younger brothers and I would be screaming and crying for my father to stop. My father stopped only when we would cover our mother with our bodies. "Oh how I wish this was not happening. Oh God! When is this going to stop?" It made me feel so sad and feel regret for my mother. What I felt for my father were anger and shame but yet I loved him. Growing up, we were always taught to respect our parents, so what could I do?

Going to school I always tried my best, received good marks but the proudness I did have was no longer there. My father made me feel so ashamed and hurt. I always ended up thinking and feeling: "Nobody is going to want to associate with me, with the kind of upbringing I have or had" (even though physical abuse was happening around me, to friends and families I grew up with). I noticed I lost my goal to make something of myself or even try to achieve graduation.

Now...sitting here in jail, I've got time to look hard at my life. From the age of twenty-four till now, my pattern has turned into violence towards men.

What I know now, how violence affects us mentally and the strong aspect of emotions, not to mention the physical impact, we all need to speak out. That's the first step. Next is to receive counselling.

This chain of violence needs to be broken.