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E. Self Talk
Our self esteem is the result of messages we have received from
a very young age. Over time we begin to believe those messages and create our
self-image. Painful experiences can warp our true image and cause us to have
low self-esteem. Building self-esteem involves a willingness to reach for the
tools that can help, a willingness to see ourselves and the way we talk to
ourselves, and if necessary to change the messages we choose to focus on.
1. Guided discussion
* Some questions to consider:
- How do you talk to yourself?
- How many negative comments do you say in the course of a
day?
- How many positive?
- Do you dwell on a negative comment when it is made to you?
- Do you distort reality?
- Are you a positive person?
2. Role play
The following activity can be done to help students become aware
of the messages they send.
* Set up a discussion group with six people, each taking on the
behavior of one of the distortions listed below. Go over all the distortion
types first, with lots of, examples, so everyone has a good idea of how they
work.
- You exaggerate: You think your problems are huge and you
have only a tiny ability to solve them. "My whole life is over. I spilled
coffee on my homework."
- You always look at the gloomy side: You refuse to see the
good things; you remember only the bad things about something that happened.
"Sure everything went all right, but I burned the potatoes."
- You think you are the centre of attention, that everyone
pays attention to every little thing about you: "Everybody at the party kept
looking at me because I lost a button on my shirt."
- You think everything is either perfect or awful: For you
there is no in-between. "Either I pass this test or I am a complete failure."
"If she doesn't like me a lot, she hates my guts."
- You blow things out of proportion, and you are over
dramatic: "I had a fight with Fred. Nobody likes me. I'm losing all my friends.
Nothing ever turns out right."
- You jump to conclusions: "She's hasn't come over to say
hello to me. I must have done something wrong," or "The doctor hasn't called
with my test results. I must really be sick."
* On each of six index cards, write out one of the distortion
types. Give one card to each person. Introduce the first discussion topic
(below), and ask each person to take part in the discussion using the
distortion written on the card s/he has. The group might want to put new people
in the various roles before going on to a second topic.
* Discussion topics:
- People look down on stay-at-home moms.
- Unemployed people don't want to work.
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Raising
self-esteem is a process which is strengthened when the person has success, and
feels good about accomplishments, goals achieved or obstacles overcome. Provide
such opportunities within your classroom.
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3. Debriefing
* Some questions to consider:
- Do you see yourselves in any of the distortions?
- Which ones are most like you?
* Go over each distortion type again and brainstorm further
comments which would be made by the various types.
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Follow
this up with a challenge for the students to record, for one week, all the
negative and positive comments they hear others say to them, as well as the
ones they tell themselves. (It is not necessary to indicate who said them, just
record the comment made.) At the end of the week, have students share comments
with the class and discuss the outcome. Some students will want to keep their
lists confidential. |
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A project can
also be designed around watching television for a week and recording the
negative and positive comments. Students might focus on comments about women,
seniors, children or some other group, or they might keep a running total on
positive and negative comments of all kinds. |
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