This year their stories are stories I've heard before. (Do I sound jaded? Am I?) I have the willingness to help, but I am not driven by extreme feelings. I know the dance, the moves. They don't.

This is another change in me.

March 10, 1992

It's satisfying to be able to hook up women in the program with help in the community. One successful "moving out into the community." It's not the kind of moving out I visualized at the beginning of the research but I realize it counts- spinning strands for our web. I want to point out that this kind of moving out is not entirely new for the program or the college; documenting it is. I'm much more self-conscious and aware of what I do, think, feel regarding the Women's Upgrading Program.

This research asks me to document what happens because of the project. It's like the research is a stone thrown into a pond and I'm supposed to describe the ripples caused by the throwing in of the stone. But I'm partly thrower, partly stone, partly pond, partly ripple, as well as observer! Sometimes I question if the ripples I see are the ones created by me looking around for the ripples which matter. These ripples are inside me. Some things I want to talk about regarding this research: tell me how to stand/posture in the pond; tell me how to know which ripples are which.

March 11, 1992

I went to see the Social Worker with my student today. (I'd been to see him alone earlier in the week, as planned in class.) I went as her support, not her voice. Things were pretty much as I expected. The worker used some words and jargon I think she didn't understand. He seemed to rush the pace a bit and I think I heard a mental "Whoa!" from her. But the main thing is that he was supportive and we'll get some action from him. One of my sons was in the waiting area of the Social Services office waiting for me after school as we'd arranged. When I came out he wanted to know what I was doing. I told him I couldn't say too much because it was someone else's private business, but I told him that some men were bullying and abusing a woman because they knew she was weaker. I said I wanted him to know from this that it's for us to use our power and stand up with people who are weaker against those who abuse them. And so the ripples caress my son.

March 19, 1992

Last night at class it seemed like some things were beginning to fit together.

One of the new students is becoming much more at ease with me. She's a nice person - just sort of a good feeling I have when she's around. I like it when she comes. She'll speak more English to me now and ask questions. At first, she'd ask the other learners in Inuktitut in front of me. A few times I answered her. I knew she was surprised I understood but too polite to show it. I try to say things in Inuktitut to her.