In hindsight, I see how authentically the group went through the rougher , moments in accommodating the difficulties that arose - especially around finding safe childcare for one of the members. We progressed not in spite of, but because of the difficulties. We have initiated new ways of dealing with conflict and with decision-making. One member made a puppet named Suzie who helps us vocalize our concerns in the group. Working through these difficulties together was central to making us grow and mature as a group. I have no regrets.

Women-only

The idea of women-only was foreign to the women in the group when I first spoke to them about the idea. At first, some found it silly to only allow women in the group. For the first year we had to review this idea over and over. I think they felt guilty for having their own space and enjoying it. Gradually I saw them take pride in the fact that the group was women-only. The humour changed, they used to joke about chasing men away. Now our big joke is that men couldn't handle listening to what we talk about - they might faint. I know that some of them experienced pressure from men because of the group. I ended up dealing with the anger of some of these men outside the group.

Learner-centred and woman-positive

Since I started doing the women's group, I have begun to question the learner-centred philosophy, with which I have been thoroughly indoctrinated in the literacy movement. I brought that philosophy with me when I planned to have a group that was women-only, woman-focused, and woman-positive. It never occurred to me that my conditioning and my intent might contradict each other. I think when you openly offer a women's agenda in a group, some women will feel uncomfortable or seem uninterested at first. From a learner-centred perspective, this might be a cue to change the subject, but I didn't always do this because I felt the woman-centred agenda was appropriate for the group. What surprised me was how much guilt I went through when I didn't always follow the wishes of certain individual women in the group.

For almost every topic we pursued there would be one woman who didn't want to participate. I would either ask her to bear with us or she would go off and do her own thing until we were finished. This worked until some women joined the group who only wanted to do math, even though they had been told this was a women's writing group. Before I knew it, all the women said they wanted to do math. I was very frustrated. It occurred to me that this might be happening because math is much easier, much safer, than talking and writing about women's issues.

I went through a lot of soul searching and finally divided the time in two. Every Monday was math day and every Wednesday was writing day. As it turned out, all the women showed up to every group. These women who had been adamant about math slowly got used to doing the writing.