This cycle serves to reinforce the self-doubt that some women with disabilities feel, self-doubt arising from the myth that they are genderless, thus invalidating all their experiences as women. The cycle further casts a blanket of invisibility over the reality of the violence experienced by women with disabilities.

A study conducted by Action femmes handicapées during their 1988 conference revealed the following: of 30 women who participated in the study, 37% said they had been abused by parents, 17% by medical personnel, 17% by their spouses, and 17% by caregivers all people in positions of social and/or economic authority. The cycle of silence allows these people to gain more power through the validation they receive by knowing that women with disabilities are unlikely to be believed by other service providers or anyone else.

Even when a woman with a disability is believed, the legal system makes it difficult if not impossible for her aggressor to be prosecuted. All of this strengthens the aggressor's position. The delay caused by the amount of time it takes for the woman to be believed and the legal system to be set in motion positively reinforces the aggressor's behavior and weakens the survivor's ability to fight back, as well as her belief in her right not to be abused.

One of the most effective ways to prevent violence against women with disabilities is for all women to validate survivors' experiences. Some of the ways this can be done is by providing support and information, even when the survivor of violence is not ready to share her experience; not insisting that the survivor come forward before she is ready; not patronizing her; and most importantly, not negating her experience, but simply being with her throughout her process.

Women with disabilities are documenting the fact that they experience episodes of violence. Forty percent of those responding to a 1989 survey by Dis-Abled Women's Network (DAWN Canada) had been abused or assaulted, and 64% had experienced verbal abuse. It is important that we, as women, find tools to validate the fact that these experiences actually occur, and happen to us because we are women and because the aggressors want to exert power over us. This is deplorable! Women must learn to believe each other.

It is very important for women with disabilities who have survived violence not to fall into the cycle of silence. Yes, the authorities will/may not believe you. They may patronize you as usual and tell you to go play bingo. It is also important, above all else, that you trust yourself, just as you do when your disability takes an odd turn and you experience something new. You know, when the medical people tell you it's all in your head. You need to stay in charge and be persistent until one person - any person - believes you.

Find another woman with a disability who lives in or comes to the same place where the aggressor is hurting you. More than likely he has done this to someone else. To build your self-confidence, remember your strength. As soon as you can, take a self-defense course. At the very least it will validate what you already know; that is, that you have a right to be safe, a right supposedly guaranteed to all Canadians by the Canadian Charter. Take self-defense as often as you wish. It can be the best thing you will ever do for yourself.

Maria Barile is vice-chair of DAWN Canada and is co-chair of Action femmes handicapées in Montreal. She also gives workshops to women's groups on anti-ableism.