• Organize the wording – write in short sentences and sacrifice extra words to maintain clarity.
    Before:
    When most people think of farming, they imagine huge tracts of land in the Prairies, lush orchards in the British Columbia interior or verdant valleys in Ontario. In contrast, the garden for Acadian Seaplants Ltd. is the Atlantic Ocean and its crop — seaweed.
    After:
    When most people think of farming they imagine huge fields and orchards. The Acadian Seaplants farm is different. The Acadian Seaplants farm is the ocean and its crop is seaweed.
  • Use one idea per sentence.
    Before:
    Peacekeeping is an important aspect of Canada’s national heritage and a reflection of our fundamental beliefs.
    After:
    Peacekeeping is an important part of our Canadian heritage (legacy). It is part of our national identity.
  • Use paragraphs appropriately; develop only one idea per paragraph.
    Before:
    The Maple Leaf. Breathtaking wilderness. A “Mountie”. All are familiar international identifiers of our “True North Strong and Free”. The image of the red-coated Mountie in broad-brimmed Stetson hat is instinctively associated with Canada around the world. But there is more to the Mounties than just a romantic image. The stage was set in 1873 for a role that would intimately connect the Mounted Police and its members with the development of Canada as a great nation. From the beginning of its long history, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) has served Canada and its people by establishing law and order in the frontier reaches of this vast nation. As the country grew in population and diversity, and its communities became more established, the Mounted Police adapted, ensuring the peace and security for its citizens.
    After:
    The Royal Canadian Mounted Police are so Canadian. People around the world associate the image of the red-coated “Mountie” wearing a broad-brimmed Stetson hat with our country. But there is much more to the Mounties than a famous uniform. For one thing there’s the musical ride.
    From the beginning of its long history the RCMP has served Canada and its people by establishing law and order in the four corners of this vast country. In the past, the Mounties did most of their serious work on horseback. They also entertained each other by showing off their riding skills.
  • Present lists vertically. Introduce lists with an explanatory sentence.
    The Dartmouth laboratory operates under the Canadian Food Inspection Act (law). The CFIA uses:
    • The Fish Inspection Act
    • The Canada Agricultural Products Act
    • The Food and Drugs Act
    • The Meat Inspection Act
    • The Consumer Packaging and Labeling Act.
  • Limit information to the essential.
    Before:
    Fish and fish products entering the country are inspected following a random risk-based sampling scheme which may be dependent on the history of the exporting country or on the quality of the product. The laboratory assists field inspectors in performing targeted analyses.
    After:
    Fish and fish products coming into Canada are inspected to make sure they are safe to eat.
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