3) LANGUAGE AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE

• Reducing word and sentence length
  Research confirms that reducing the length of words, sentences and paragraphs is a key factor in improving the readability of documents. Overall, the letters and documents to disability clients avoided complex, unfamiliar words and technical language. Sentences were generally kept short and clear, to avoid the need to read a passage more than once.
  This was done particularly well in the document “Canada Pension Plan (CPP) – Other Benefits or Pensions,” which defined each of the benefits and pensions using simple sentences. Here, for example, is the definition of retirement pension:
  Retirement Pension: A monthly pension you can begin to receive as early as age 60 or as late as age 70. It is your choice when to apply. If you want to start getting your pension before you turn 65, you must stop working or work only a few hours a week. The amount of money you will receive each month depends on the amount you have paid into CPP and at what age you apply.
  Plain language writing often requires more than one edit, because further editing so often reveals ways to simplify material even more, without losing meaning.
  The chart on next page shows how further editing of word and sentence length would improve sections of the letters and documents.
• Getting rid of needless words
  The documents contained some redundant or needless words and phrases. Verbal “clutter” can make sentences appear more complex than they are. Remedy this by deleting phrases such as those underlined below:
  • “the following information sheet and pamphlet”
  • “I encourage you to read and keep this letter”
  • “One of the ways CPP stays in touch with you is to review your file from time to time”
  • “if there are changes in any of the following:”