Appendix C
Before and After

HERE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES to show how communication can be made clearer. Some revisions were written by me, and some by others. Also included are some examples of original plain-language materials, not revisions.

FROM THE CANADIAN LABOUR CONGRESS CONSTITUTION IN CLEAR LANGUAGE
(portions reprinted with permission)

Charter of Labour Rights (original)

The charter calls for:

  1. The unfettered right to peaceful assembly and picketing.
  2. The right to bargain collectively on all matters arising out of technological change and automation.
  3. The right to strike during the term of a collective agreement if bargaining cannot resolve matters in dispute which are not covered by such an agreement.

Section 3(a) (original)

Special Conventions may be called by direction of a regular Convention, by order of Executive Council, or on request of affiliated organizations representing a majority of the total membership of the Congress, as evidenced by the records of the Secretary- Treasurer reported to the last Convention.

Charter of Labour Rights (revised)

All workers should have the right to:

Assemble
1. Assemble peacefully and picket.

Technological change
2. Bargain collectively on all matters arising from technological change.

Strike
3. Strike during the term of an agreement if bargaining cannot resolve a dispute about a matter not covered in the agreement.

Article 12 (revised) Special conventions

Who calls it

1. Special conventions can be called by: