The Cycle of Violence Over Time
- The Cycle of Abuse repeats itself over and
over again.
- As time passes, tension builds quicker;
the explosive event is more serious and
the remorse phase becomes shorter or
stops completely. In some situations, the
tension is always present.
- The longer a victim stays in the
relationship, the more dangerous the
situation becomes the higher the risk of
serious injury.
- When a victim leaves the relationship,
the Cycle of Abuse often continues to
occur. The abuser will either move into
the remorse phase or the tension
building phase. In the remorse phase,
the abuser may be very patient,
encouraging the victim to take as much
time as she needs before they get back
together. The abuser may also start
attending a program for abusers. If this
does not hook the victim back into the
relationship, he/she may move into the
tension-building phase. In this phase,
the abuser may do things that threaten
or panic the victim (i.e., blame her for
the problems in the relationship, contact
mutual friends and her family and try to
convince them that the abuser doesn't
have a problem, change the locks on the
house, take off with the kids, etc.)
- The abuser may change if he/she
recognizes that he/she has a problem
and participate in counselling because
he /she wants to change, not because the
victim wants him to. The victim cannot
stop the abuse.
(Cited from: A Publication Of The
Office For The Prevention Of Family Violence. Breaking
The Pattern: Understanding Wife Abuse. 1988.)
