2-2 When we begin to listen to women's stories, what do we hear about ourselves?

In an east coast community centre, three paid literacy instructors, a literacy student and the program co-ordinator have got together over coffee and doughnuts to talk with me about women's experience and literacy programs. We're not sure how long we'll go on-there's about three hours left before lunch. The program itself is finished for the summer and everyone has just come in to chat.

Four of the women live in the immediate community. One has lived there in the past, but now lives further out. Two of the instructors were once students in the program. The third instructor was a volunteer before she came on as paid staff. The co-ordinator has been an instructor as well as one of the founding mothers.

We told each other a lot of stories as children played downstairs and other community workers drifted in and out. I had my "interview schedule," a list of topics that I like to cover during each time together. But the conversation kept coming back to what it means to be women listening to other women, hearing stories of poverty, violence, isolation and sexual abuse.

We obviously knew what the issues were. We knew about women who came to the program saying, "I can either get the bus to this program, or I can send my children to school with a lunch. That's my choice. I don't have money for both."

We talked together about what it meant to want not only to listen, but to have enough money to give her the bus fare, to feed her children. We also talked about not wanting to give advice, to give easy answers, as "experts," to incredibly difficult questions. Finally we started to look at the photo albums that highlighted the good times of partying, travelling, showing off the learning. It became clear that, as women we have a lot of respect for ourselves and for others. But also it was clear that respect can be hard to hold on to in the face of trying to actually make a difference, in the face of poverty, violence, isolation and sexual abuse.