Work with the consequences
You and the learner may be able to identify many consequences of the abuse which she wants to work to change. Reading any of the workbooks on abuse, such as The Courage to Heal may help you both to see what patterns are consequences of the abuse. You may want to choose some issue to work on.

For example, a woman might notice that she is still frequently victimized or that she behaves like a victim. She may say "yes" to things she does not want to do. She may have difficulty standing up to authority figures, or to men she encounters in her life.

To work on this issue you could use any assertiveness exercise, for example, those from Working Together for Change: Women's Self-Help Handbook by the Women's Self-Help Network, or you could create an exercise together by creating scenarios with the learner which describe situations which are typical of her life. For each scene you would talk about responses which would name the issue (such responses are often called assertive), responses which would cast blame (these responses are often called aggressive) and responses which ignore or accept the situation rather than addressing it in any way (often called passive). You can discuss the effects of each response on the woman and on others. You will want to be careful to avoid any suggestion that one way of responding is always right, and need to acknowledge that there are situations where a woman cannot "choose" her response. For example she might choose to name the problem but must ignore it because it is safer to remain silent, or she may be so angry at a problem that she can only blame. Exploring the circumstances that lead to different responses and the effects of different responses can lead to many insights about existing patterns and new possibilities.

Another consequence of childhood abuse might be not taking care of herself. She may look after everybody else but not herself. There are many ideas in The Woman's Comfort Book which you could look at together and use or adapt so that she could practice taking care of herself.

End each session with care
At the end of every session you will want to take some time to wind down. You need to prepare to return to ordinary life. This is particularly important if you have worked on intense material during the session. Sandra Butler refers to this process as "putting your armor back on" so that a woman can leave able to function in her world safely. Failing to do so can leave the learner (and you, the tutor) in a vulnerable and naked state which puts her at risk when she concludes her time with you.

You might end by talking about how it went and what the learner wants to do next time. Then you could both write in a journal about what you both accomplished during the session. You could read poems together, sing, listen to a tape or whatever else you can think of which gives you both pleasure and allows the strong feelings to subside a little before you both go back to the other demands of life. You may find one particular poem or song becomes a regular favorite, creating a sort of ritual which reminds you both that you are ending your work together for the session. Any material which celebrates the strength of women, or demands that women no longer be hurt, or something that simply makes you laugh, may work to help you leave the work you have done together behind. Poems such as Kate Braid's "Woman's Touch," Marge Piercy's "A Just Anger" or "For Strong Women," or Maxine Tynes' "For the Montreal Fourteen" are all powerful places to end. Reading one of these every time can become a comforting routine.

Mary and I read Kate Braid's "Woman's Touch" at the end of almost every session we work together. We often read something else as well, but she always chooses the last poem, usually "Woman's Touch." The last line "Sam sulked off stomping sawdust," makes us laugh and gives us pleasure in the sound of the words. It shows women as smart (inventing the circular saw, accomplishing things as a carpenter) and spunky (naming that the tools all "look like you know what," holding her own on the building site) and lets us laugh at one man who "loses" in the story.